Knocked Up – Knocked Over

my journey through pregnancy and hyperemesis gravidarum


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Hyperemesis Gravidarum: Is it all in our heads?

How many times have you heard this:

“You’d feel a lot better if you would adjust your attitude.”  “You should be more positive.”  “That Molly. She’s so excitable isn’t she.”  “Maybe you should see a tharapist?”  “You’re not sick.  You’re pregnant.”  “You’re weak.”  “You’re hysterical.”  “You’re doing this to yourself.”

From doctors. From nurses. From the lady taking your vitals in the hospital. From a friend. From a relative. From your spouse?

It’s all in our heads.  We’re doing this to ourselves.  It’s our fault we’re so sick.

Over and over and over.

Some HGers aren’t lucky enough to have a support system.  They suffer and suffer believing to their core that what they are experiencing isn’t real.  They blame themselves when they miscarry.  They feel the agony of guilt when they have to terminate the pregnancy that they were so excited for just to save their own lives.  If they’re like the woman a few years back at one of my local hospitals, they die.  It’s their own fault.  If they hadn’t been so weak, so fragile, so excitable.

A new study has come out: Is hyperemesis gravidarum associated with mood, anxiety and personality disorders: a case-control study.

Apparently, according to the abstract, HG is a relatively common medical problem among pregnant women.  Well, gosh.  I certainly learned something today.  I wasn’t aware that it’s common for pregnant women to require PICC lines, constant IV hydration, high doses of multiple medications, and bed rest.  I wasn’t aware either that it’s relatively common for pregnant women to become so dehydrated that they begin to halucinate, to vomit until their esophagi tear and they start to vomit blood, to become so malnourished that they lose their babies, for their kidneys to fail, to die.

I didn’t realize any of that was relatively common.

After looking quite a large sample size of 142 patients and observing whether or not there were mental health issues prior to the pregnancy, these psychiatrists conclude:

The results of the present study suggest that mood and anxiety disorders, and personality disturbances are frequently observed among women with HG and that there is a potential relationship between these psychiatric disorders and HG during pregnancy.

Pardon my skepticism, but this has been done before.  It was a crock then and it’s a crock now.

Look, I get that they’re saying that HG isn’t caused by mental illness. Of course not. This is all couched in the language of statistics.  But how many of us have had doctors who told us to just suck it up before sending us on our way with admonitions to take some ginger and eat some crackers?  How many of you have nearly died because of it?  I know at least one of you personally who has had this happen.  I know it nearly happened to me when I was pregnant with Katie.  I remember that Friday night when they suddenly went from, “Molly, you’re in really bad shape. We need to get you on TPN,” to “There’s nothing wrong with you. You need to go home.” (Of course I seemed fine at that point! I’d been on IV fluids, a potassium drip, and IV zofran and nexium for 3 days!)

Oh sure.  Plenty of us who have HG are depressed and anxious.  Who wouldn’t be after what we’ve been through?  HG causes mental illness and depression.  The researchers got it the wrong way round.

This study gives doctors one more reason to blow us off and leave us to die.


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Beyond Morning Sickness by Ashli McCall

I need to preface this post with a confession:  I hate reading non-fiction.  With the exception of Happiest Baby on the Block, I’ve never made it cover-to-cover through so many of the parenting books that I often recommend.  I haven’t completely read Playful Parenting, Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves, Unconditional Parenting, or Natural Birth: The Bradley Way

I try.  I really do.  I just hit the wall about midway through and start skimming and skipping around.  I love to read.  I’m not even going to tell you how many books are in my Kindle.  I just have a hard time getting through books that don’t involve some element of escapism.  Non-fiction is just something I struggle with.

I really thought I would have to push myself to get through Beyond Morning Sickness.  Boy, was I wrong!  Ashli structured this book to make it approachable to everyone.  Rather than ram-rodding a lot of information into your brain (and there is a LOT of information in this book!), she surrounds each segment of the book with the stories of women who experienced HG.  This makes it much easier, not only to read the book, but to digest the information.  I had a hard time putting it down!

The information itself is robust and in-depth.  The book was written in consultation with medical professionals, and Ashli provides citations throughout to support her points. 

This book covers almost every aspect of HG.  Here is a link to her table of contents.  She covers everything from causes of HG to all different kinds of treatments to supporting a woman with HG to issues involving termination.  For most people, this book could be considered a one-stop resource on HG.  For a sick woman, having this amount if information in a single, easy to navigate book would be extremely valuable.

My favorite part was the big middle section.  Here, she gives in-depth and practical information about various HG treatments.  She starts off with the least invasive alternative treatments and moves on from there.  Her section on drugs used in HG is excellent.  She even includes a treatment algorithm on page 120-121 that a doctor can work through with a patient to help get their drug cocktail balanced.

In the sections on IVs and PICCs she gives tips on things to look for and things to ask for.  For example, she advises if you have a PICC to ask for a size four french line to allow blood draws directly from the line.  I always imagined they would be able to do this no matter what.  Imagine how disappointed I would’ve been if I had found out that I needed extra sticks?  Ahsli includes little tips like this throughout the book.  Things that don’t seem big but can make a huge difference to an HGer’s comfort level.

Another excellent section is the section on advocacy.  Here, she gives detailed pointers on how specifically caregivers can help a woman with HG.  She is able to step out of her own experience and see the situation from the perspective of an outsider looking in.  In her Dos and Don’ts section in chapter 13, she gives advise on what actions a caregiver or advocate might need to take to help comfort a woman through HG, and she also requests that they refrain from certain actions that might seem reasonable to someone who has never been through HG.

Trigger warning: The next 5 paragraphs deal with termination.  If this is something too difficult for you to read, scroll on past.

There was only one section that I truly struggled with, and that was the section dealing with termination.  Aside from the fact that this is a really difficult topic to begin with, I have some mixed feelings about this topic.  While I am personally pro-life for myself, I firmly believe that this is something that is between a woman and her doctor to decide. 

That said, the term “choice” is loaded in the case of HG.  A choice is something one makes rationally and carefully with full knowledge of risks and benefits.  A decision to terminate an HG pregnancy is not that kind of choice.  It’s more akin to someone holding a gun to your head and telling you to choose.  It’s a choice that with proper medical care, no woman should have to make.

Ashli posits that most HG-related terminations are due to lack of medical care, and this is supported by the research she provides.  I firmly believe this to be the case.  There is often a profound lack of medical support for HGers.  We are told that the illness is in our heads (lie), that no medicine is safe when pregnant (lie), and many other harmful things.  Is it any wonder that a woman receiving bad information from her doctor would view the termination of a very much wanted pregnancy as her only option?  This is a failure on the part of the medical community and it’s one that Ashli and others are working to correct.

Ultimately, Ashli asks the most important question:  What is more harmful to a baby: Taking medicine that may or may not cross the placenta or termination?  I think the answer there is clear.  No woman should be forced to make the decision to terminate a wanted pregnancy because of lack of treatment.  Ever.

Ashli’s courage in dealing with this topic is astounding.  She talks about the devastation following this kind of termination.  She candidly shares her own personal experiences.  While she is definitely writing from a pro-life standpoint, she presents the information with sensitivity and does not seek to lay guilt on anyone who has been through this.

Trigger Inducing Section Over.

So ultimately, what’s the verdict on this book?  I was almost afraid to read it after reading Ashli’s HG Diary.  Ashli’s HG was so much worse than mine ever was, and I was afraid I would find it frightening and off-putting.  Instead, I found it to be empowering and uplifting.  When I closed the book I was left with the sense that I really can get through this. 

If you have or have had HG, read this book.  If you are a caretaker, friend, or family member of someone who has HG, get this book.  If you know an HGer, give them this book.  If you know of a doctor who is, shall we say, lacking in this department, give them this book.

Thank you Ashli for having the courage and dedication to write this book for us.  You truly are a hero.

How to get this book: In addition to being available through Amazon and Ashli’s website, you can purchase a copy through HelpHer.org with the proceeds going to help support HER Foundation research and education efforts.  Ashli has information on her website here about donating books to doctors.  You can check her list to see if a book has already been given to this doctor and if you do deliver a book to a doctor, please notify Ashli via her website to avoid duplicate donations.


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Another HG Blog – The Depths of HG

I’ve found another HG blogger out there, or rather, she found me: Chelsea over at Building my Baby: http://buildingmybaby.wordpress.com/

She’s suffering right now in the depths of HG hell, and from the sound of it, she’s not getting much medical support.  No home health, no Zofran pump, nothing beyond some pills and telling her to come in 3 times a week to the hospital for fluids.  Let me be honest, this kind of thing doesn’t much help an HGer with a serious case of it.  Instead of constant hydration, she’s getting peaks and valleys.  Instead of healing at home and resting, she’s having to haul herself out of the house constantly.  What a nightmare.

The best part?  Her doctor told her to… wait for it… take some ginger!  Hah!

I’ll be counting down the days with her until she gets to see new doctors on the 30th.  Hopefully she’ll feel well enough to update us on how she’s doing.  You can follow her progress with me.  I’ve added her link over on the right.

Chelsea, you’re on our minds over here.  We’re wishing you comfort, relief, and proper medical care.

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