Knocked Up – Knocked Over

my journey through pregnancy and hyperemesis gravidarum

Category Archives: Natural Parenting


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Birthing Positions and Water Birth Positions

I’m going to be sharing a full write-up of my birthing preferences a little later, but I wanted to take some time to talk about birthing positions.  This is a really important aspect of birth.

What you see in movies?  The woman flat on her back, legs up in the air, yelling her head off?  That’s a terrible way to push out a baby.  This position actually closes the pelvis off and forces the woman to push uphill.  No part of that is good for childbirth.  There’s only one reason to birth a baby in this position: to make it easier for the doctor.  You know, he doesn’t have to bend down that way.  He can sit on the chair or stand up.  Much more comfortable for him, right?  And that’s what’s most important after all: making sure your doctor is comfortable.

Before I go into this further, take a look at this article that lists the pros and cons of different birth positions.  Scroll down to the bottom to read the pros and cons of birthing on your back with your legs in the air.  Do you notice anything?  There are no pros for this!  That’s right.  There’s nothing good about this.  Only cons.

So you might gather from all of this that I want to push our baby out in a position other than flat on my back.  Honestly, I’m not sure how I will want to birth the baby.  On all fours?  Squatting?

I very much intend to use the birth pool.  So how does that work with birthing positions?  Honestly, I have no clue!  With Gabi, I had an epidural.  I was paralyzed from the waist down.  I was, you guessed it, flat on my back with my legs up in the air.

I have a hard time doing things if I can’t try it out ahead of time, or at least visualize it.  It’s why I never asked to use the squat bar at the hospital before getting the epidural with Gabi.  It’s why I asked my midwives to let me try out the birth stool during my second appointment.  It’s why I really, really need a doula.  If I’m not sure how to do something, I just freeze up.  I’m not sure why.  I just do.  So this is why I’m trying to familiarize myself as much as possible with water birth and various birth positions.

Like they say in my hypnobabies course, I’m having to retrain my mind to remove the flat-on-the-back, legs-in-the-air positioning from my concept of “normal” and replace it with a new normal which includes movement and various different positions.

To find out what birthing in the water looks like, I did some YouTube searching.  I’m going to post some links to some videos that helped me get some ideas on some of the different positions you can use if you’re in the water.

These are birth videos.  There is some potential for nudity.  I found the videos to be empowering and inspiring, but if you don’t want to see women giving birth, just don’t click the links.  And if you don’t want to see woman giving birth, but you click the links anyway?  Don’t come whining to me about it!

  • Here’s the first video I found.  It’s a home birth and a Hypnobabies birth (yay!), and she spends most of her birthing time outside the tub and only enters the tub to push.  Right around the 4:50-5:00 mark, you can really see the position that she is using to push her baby out.  She’s resting on her knees, leaning forward.  She actually partially stands up for the time when he was born.
  • Here’s one that is a photo montage.  She gets in the water at around 45 seconds in and from the look of it she’s on all fours, leaning forward against the side of the tub.  It’s difficult to tell, but it looks like she pushed her baby out in a seated position, leaning back against the side of the tub for support.
  • Here’s a third one.  This one is a hospital birth.  The dad wasn’t allowed to film during the pushing, but there are still photos and starting around 1:36, you can see that she’s seated, leaning back.  I also want to say that I love this dad.  He is so completely chilled out during this whole thing.  Completely calm and just allowing his wife to have a quiet, peaceful environment for her birth.
  • Here is a fourth and final one.  The thing that I find interesting about this one is how much the mother can move in the water.  She’s moving the entire time!

There seems to be an incredible variety in how women choose to birth in a tub.  I have to wonder if the water helps facilitate that.  I’m only 31 weeks, and already I feel huge and awkward.  I have to wonder if the weightlessness of the water allows them to move their bodies more easily for greater comfort during birth.

Seeing people actually giving birth in the water helps me so much to visualize what I want.  I think I may ever fill up our bathtub here at home at some point and do some of my Hypnobabies practicing in the water.  I really hope doing this kind of visualization and practice will help me to feel more confident during my birthing time.  I plan to talk to my doula and let her know that I do tend to freeze up.  I want her to be able to watch for this and give me a nudge if she sees this happening.  But I also want to find some empowerment on my own, and watching the women in these videos give birth really helps me to find that within myself.

Gabi’s trip to the Natural History Museum

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Saturday, we took a short road trip north to visit the Santa Barbara Museum of Natural History with Gabi and her Grandma and Grandpa.

Gabi had a great time.  We let her lead the way and explore the museum as she felt inclined.  As she encountered different exhibits, we talked to her about them by asking a series of questions.  We’ve found that, for her, this is a good way for her to learn.

For example, the museum has a blue whale skeleton at the entrance that you can walk into and touch.  She loved this and wanted to be right up in the bones.  This gave us the opportunity to talk to her about bones.  Understand that about half of the books we read together are science-related, so she’s been building on this knowledge for a while.  This is a chance for her to see the things we’ve read about up close.

What do bones do? Help us stand up.  Can you find the whale’s ribs (she’s been talking about ribs lately)?  That’s right!  What do our ribs do?  Protect my heart.  Where is your heart?  Where do you think this whale’s heart was?  I think you’re right?  Do you think it was a big heart or a little heart?  Biiiiiiiig heart!  I think you’re right!  Do you remember if a whale is a mammal or a fish?  I don’t know.  Well… let’s think about it.  Do whales breathe fresh air in their lungs?  Uh-huh.  …  Mammal!  That’s right Gabi!  What do you think baby whales eat?  Do you think they eat fish?  mmmmm…. No, they drink their mommy’s milk.  That’s right!  Do they drink a lot or a little do you think?  Remember, a baby whale is bigger than Papa!  A lot!  I bet you’re right!  I bet it takes a lot of milk for a baby whale to grow up big and strong. 

Then she ran to the whale’s head and had Grandpa lift her up into the head.

Gabi, do you see teeth in this whale’s mouth?  No. No teeth.  What do you think it uses to eat?  I don’t know.  It uses a special kind of part in its mouth called baleen to eat a teeny-tiny animal called krill.  Do you want to know how baleen works?  It’s like when Mommy makes pasta.  You know at the end how Mommy pours the pasta through the strainer in the sink and the water flows out through the holes, but the pasta stays in the strainer so we can eat it?  It works just like that.

And so forth. 

Aside from the whale bones, the other big highlight (for all of us!) was the butterfly exhibit.  I’ve been to a lot of butterfly exhibits.  Usually, they’re huge, glass pyramids with exotic greenery and lush waterfalls.  This exhibit was a simple building with net ceiling and walls to contain the butterflies.  Inside were plants that can grow happily in the local environment.  It was the smallest butterfly exhibit I’ve ever been to.  It was also by far the best one I’ve ever seen.  Gabi was able to have many close encounters with the butterflies.  She even found one that landed on my back!  And another tried to land on her pink shoe!  It was very exciting.

The Santa Barbara Museum of Natural History isn’t a child-oriented museum, but by letting Gabi lead and explaining things in ways that she can understand, we were able to bring her into the experience and make it enjoyable for her.  Sure, we didn’t get to see the hall of minerals, which I was actually pretty interested in.  We also spent way more time looking at dioramas than I probably would have.  But that doesn’t really matter.  By letting her lead and teaching to what she was interested in, she learned much more and had a much better time than she otherwise would have.  We all did!

Here are some pictures from the day in no particular order. 

This gallery contains 20 photos


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Green Disposable Diapers – Part 3

Okay, folks.  My parents are in town from Texas for a visit, so I’m going to take the lazy way out of today’s post.  Actually, I really lucked into this.

Janet, over at A Pregnancy With Hyperemesis Gravidarum, did my homework for me today!  How cool is that?

She has done a fantastic write up of different green diaper comparisons.  She tried out all four of the ones I’ve looked at:

  • Earth’s Best
  • Nature Babycare
  • Huggies Pure and Natural
  • 7th Generation
Read this post!  It’s awesome!
Thanks so much Janet!  You’ve given me some fantastic information the help narrow down my diaper hunt!


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Cloth Diapering – Part 2

I have mentioned before that my family doesn’t cloth diaper, but I do love the idea of cloth diapering.  It’s a great way to reduce your impact on the environment.  Because of this, I asked several of my friends to write guest posts about cloth diapering for my Green Sunday segment.  This is the second post in my cloth diaper series.  It was written by my good friend Jessica who owns Top to Bottom Baby Boutique in Omaha, Nebraska.  If you’re ever in the area, check out her new storefront!  She’s a fun lady and a great businesswoman.

Owning a natural parenting and cloth diapering store usually garnishes a lot of questions:  What started me cloth diapering?  Why did we decide to open the business?  And what do I find the most challenging?  Over the years, I’ve heard a lot of stories from moms and dads on why they started or what stopped them.  These stories, always intrigue me, because I love seeing what cloth diapering means to families.  One of the most popular questions I get is “How in the world am I suppose to use cloth when both my husband and I work full-time”.  This one always makes me chuckle, because it is my favorite topic!

Let me warn you, this always starts me on the discussion of laundry.  And just so we are clear, I hate laundry.  I’m not even sure that hate is a strong enough word.  Luckily, early on, I was able to convince Justin that it should be one of his tasks!  And I have dealt with shrunken clothes, things that have turned blue, etc in order to avoid laundry.  But diaper laundry I will do!  I love diaper laundry because I don’t have to sort, fold, or put away…though my good friend Maia does all of those for her diapers!

Justin and I have always both worked, and for the longest times we were on opposite shifts to avoid full-time daycare.  It made it very hard to avoid laundry duty.  When we began cloth diapering, we used a local diaper service.  After a couple of weeks we were having issues with leaks and I started looking for other options.  What I found was the wonderful world of fitteds, beautiful covers, and all around cute diapers.  Cuter than Cadence was wearing at that point.  As my research continued, we decided to move away from using the service and begin washing our own.  Two kids and three years later we opened our own store because there were no local options that allowed me to play with diapers (and as my husband tells everyone, I’m just not patient enough to wait for the mail to arrive).

With both kids in diapers, we knew we needed enough diapers to get through about two days.  Our diapers weren’t always pretty, but they were functional.  I would throw them in the wash after the kids went to bed and then into the drier before I went to sleep.  And inevitably, they ended up in a basket the next morning and that is where they stayed (I warned you, I don’t fold them!)  Diaper wash, in case you are wondering, is easy peasy–throw in everything, rinse, add soap (I love Rockin Green) and wash on hot, toss in the drier (or like our partner Robyn, hang up to dry).  I always warn everyone that it is a good idea to have a couple extra prefolds and a cover around for the inevitable time that you forget to do laundry until you put the last diaper on the kids (or when you are taking that last diaper OFF!).  Justin and I once had to fashion a diaper out of his t-shirt because I had managed to forget to switch the diapers to the dryer.  I’m not sure he found it as amusing as I did.

I’m sure at this point you are wondering about daycare.  We used two different daycares during our last 3 years and numerous trips to grandmas, so I have learned a very important lesson–most people think prefolds and plastic pants when you tell them you are going to cloth diaper.  We realized early on that it was easier to show them the types of diapers we planned to use then hope they knew what we were talking about.  I always tell moms it is important to take a diaper with you when you go meet a new daycare.  I usually also recommend using a Pocket or an All in One diaper because they are the most like disposables.  I am not a big fan of pockets, because it requires stuffing the inserts in the diapers.  I lose inserts like I lose socks (ie my hatred for laundry) so I tend to steer clear of these!  If I could, I would redo my stash in Bummis Tot Bots and Itti Bitti Tuttos but at this point with 2 kids who are potty trained except at night I am having a hard time convincing Justin that I need all new diapers!

Natural diapering is an option for everyone, working or stay at home parents.  Some parents go for the full cloth diaper experience, others use a mixture of cloth with disposable inserts (Gro-Via and Flip both make disposable inserts that can be used with the cloth covers), or the eco-friendly disposables (G-Diapers or Gro-Via bio diapers).  All of these are great options for parents.  There are so many options out there that everyone can find something they enjoy!


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Update on the Green Disposable Diaper Search

A few weeks ago, I told you all how we are searching for a more earth-friendly/baby-friendly disposable diaper option.  You can read that post here: Green Disposable Diapers?

As a part of that search, I wanted to see, in person, the different diapers and wipes sold by the main producers of “green” disposable diapers.  To that end, I emailed the four companies requesting samples of their diapers:

At this point, almost two weeks have passed, and here’s where things stand:

I heard almost immediately from 7th Generation.  The emailed me right away to thank me for my interest and let me know that they had mailed me some samples.  Sure enough, within a few days, a large envelope arrived in my mailbox (hand addressed I might add) with 2 newborn size diapers, 2 size 1 diapers, and a small package of 3 wipes.  Perfect!  This is exactly what I needed!  This lets me get my hands right on the diapers and wipes to feel them, smell them, see if there’s a scent or fragrance that bothers me, and just generally get to know the product!  They included a few coupons for diapers and other 7th Generation products.

Thanks 7th Generation!  This really helps me!  I appreciate the quick response and I appreciate your willingness to go further than what I requested to try to accommodate and win a potential new customer.  As someone who works in customer service myself, I appreciate this.  It’s good salesmanship, and it predisposes me to feel favorably about the product.

I also heard back from the Nature Babycare folks.  Here is the email they sent me:

Thanks for taking the time to contact us.  We certainly appreciate your interest in Nature babycare as we do have the “greenest” diapers on the market.  (See attached FAQ’s)

We receive hundreds of emails from people requesting free samples.  We have limited resources as we are a very small company and want to keep the costs to a minimum so that we can pass that savings on to you.  The best and most environmentally friendly way “to try” Nature babycare is to purchase from one of our online retailers who offer our items at a very reasonable price, some offer additional discounts/specials and free shipping with qualifying orders.  Visit www.Diapers.com, www.Amazon.com or www.Naturebabycare.com as well as others.

Please feel free to sign up at our website www.naturebabycare.com (envelope icon, use your email address) for postings regarding product announcements, upcoming news, specials and coupons. 

In the interest of brevity and privacy, I omitted the signature.  It was signed by an actual person.  I just don’t want to plaster her name all over the internet without her permission because that doesn’t seem like a very nice thing to do.

So, okay.  I can understand this.  I get that they’re a small company.  Totally respect that.  On the other hand, part of me is thinking, “Really?  You don’t have one diaper sitting around there that you could pop into an envelope?”

Let’s be real, though.  I am writing these companies asking for free stuff.  I’m not asking for a ton of free diapers (just one!), but still, it’s a rough economy, so I respect that a company can’t necessarily afford to send a diaper to every single person.  It does annoy me–in that slightly unreasonable, customer is not always right kind of way–that basically told me I’m going to have to go out and buy a whole big pack of these diapers.

But, check out what I did manage to find just this very moment as I was writing this post:  You can go to diapers.com and buy a sample of the Nature Babycare diapers!  For $0.99!  Who knew?  I wish the customer service rep from Nature Babycare had mentioned that in her email.  When I got her email, I imagined that I would have to get a whole pack of 70+ diapers.  Imagine my relief now in seeing that I can just get a little sample here!  Good news!  If she had said that in the first place, it would have been a lot more helpful.

I have not heard from the Huggies or the Earth’s Best folks, which annoys me slightly.  The good news again, is that I can pick up $0.99 Earth’s Best diaper sample from the sample area at diapers.com.  It comes with a free sample of their rice cereal.  We very adamantly do not do rice cereal, so that’ll get donated.  No biggie.  The bad news is that for the Huggies, I don’t see a sample option.  I’m not through looking, but it’s just not apparent at this point. 

The lack of a sample from Huggies doesn’t break my heart, but I don’t want to have to buy 30 diapers just so I can look at one.  I know if I hate them I can just donate them, but we disliked Huggies so much when Gabi was a baby, I’m not sure I’m interested in going out of my way to try these out.

Right now, I want to wait to get the diaper samples in before I really start trying them out.  I want to be able to look at them all side-by-side to see how they compare.  I want to do things like put them on one of Gabi’s dolls to see how they fit, pour water into them, and just generally mess around with them to get a better idea of how they work.

Of course, I will keep you all posted, so stay tuned for the continuing saga!


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Green Disposable Diapers?

I’m feeling a bit crummy today from overdoing it yesterday walking all over UCLA and the La Brea Tar Pits.  So this post may be short.  And not particularly well researched.

I think I’ve mentioned before that we do not cloth diaper.  I’d like to talk a little more about that and share my thoughts with you on reducing our diaper footprint.

Let me start by saying that I love cloth diapers.  The fabrics are not only beautiful, but they’re so incredibly soft.  The thought of that cushy organic bamboo velour cradling my baby’s tiny, delicate rump just makes my heart go pitter pat.  Cloth diapering is very, very doable, even for families where both parents work outside the home.  It just means a little extra laundry.  But here’s the deal:  I don’t do the laundry.  Juan does the laundry in our house (God bless him), and this means that ultimately the decision is his.

You know, we all have our hills that we are willing to die on:  Those aspects of life that are so important that they must be done the way you want.  For me, those hills include breastfeeding, solids, and child sleep.  I will breastfeed my children, I will make their own food and delay solids, and I will not leave them alone to cry it out.

That’s a whole lot of hills.

Juan doesn’t have as many hills.  He’s just a little bit more laid back than I am.  But cloth diapering is where he draws the line.  And quite honestly, as much as I fantasize about those beautiful and soft cloth diapers on my babies’ bottoms, I recognize that I need to be okay with this.  This is something that wouldn’t affect me in a huge way, but would have a terrific impact on the amount of work he has to do.  Considering how much hard work he does around the house anyway (the guy is a housework machine!), I respect his choice.

That leaves me wondering, though, what I can do to help “green up” diaper time for the newest member of our family.  In addition to wanting to be a little more green for diaper time, frankly, I’m mad at Pampers.  There is some controversy surrounding their new Dry Max technology, which I must accurately report has not as of yet been linked by the CPSC to the severe diaper rashes reported by some parents.

Aside from that, last week, Pampers took it upon themselves to email me an ad for formula.  This is not acceptable to me as it violates The International Code for Marketing Breastmilk Substitutes as laid out by the WHO.  Basically, it’s against the WHO code to advertise formula, and this is something I take pretty seriously.  So, sorry Pampers.  With one simple email advert, you lost my business.

Thankfully, environmentally friendly diaper options have started to become more and more available.  There are a couple of hybrid cloth/disposable options like the gDiaper, but having had friends who tried and didn’t like them, I think these might not be the best option for us.  Plus, these would still leave Juan doing diaper laundry.

At this point, I’m looking at three possible choices for us:

Now here’s the thing:  Natural and Eco-friendly is great and all, but these puppies have to perform.

We used the 7th Gen diapers a few times with Gabi when she got a bad diaper rash. They were pretty good, but they were a little stiff.  Juan did not like them.  I’ve never used the other kinds, but with the packaging it’s really impossible to tell much about the diapers.

I’ve emailed each of the three diaper companies to request that they send me a sample diaper.  I just want one of each.  I want to get the feel of it.  I want to see how stiff or how soft they are.  I want to pour some water into them to see how they react and absorb the fluid.  I do not expect any diaper to contain an honest-to-goodness poopsplosion, but I do expect them not to completely disintigrate when pee hits them.

I haven’t heard back from the companies as of yet on my request, so please stay tuned.  I’ll let you know if they’re willing to send me a sample or not.  I’d rather not have to shell out for packs of each.  These puppies aren’t cheap.

In the meantime, have any of you, dear readers used these natural disposable diapering options?  Does anyone out there in cyberspace have anything they can share with me about how these work out?


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Exploring Farmer’s Markets

I love, love, love going to the farmer’s markets here in California.  I love wandering around and seeing all of the fresh fruits and veggies.  I love getting to taste samples of things.  I love the delicious tamales they sell there.  I love the people-watching, especially the free hugs guy and the poetry guy.  Most of all, though, I love going with my daughter.

At 3 years old, she’s so full of natural curiosity.  She enjoys the sensory experience of the market just as much as I do.  We hold hands and just wander around.  I let her take the lead.  We look at the strange things like the purple carrots and the fancy mushrooms.  I involve her directly in the shopping in a way that just isn’t possible at the grocery store.  I let her taste the samples and pick which item she wants.  We talk about the colors, the smells, the tastes.  We talk about where the food comes from and why we eat certain things.  There is something magical about experiencing a farmer’s market with a kiddo.  I heartily recommend it.

This morning, Gabi and I went to our local farmer’s market for fun and to see what interesting things we could find for the long weekend.  We each came home with our own treasures.  I chose swiss chard (so I can cook this), fresh white cheddar cheese (pasteurized so I can eat it!), fresh focaccia bread, and a Texas sweet onion.  Is it a Texas 1015 bred by Texas A&M?  WHOOP!  The fellow I bought it from wasn’t sure, but if it’s a Texas bred onion, that sounds good to me!  Gabi got to choose some treasures of her own as well: raisins and a bag of Ranier cherries that we will have to help her to eat in a careful way to avoid choking on pits.

I’ll be honest.  I’m not a serious Farmer’s Market shopper.  For my family, it’s more about the experience than the shopping.  Most of our food comes from the big store up the road, but there are some things I’ve found that I just prefer getting at the market.

I always get my honey there.  I eat local honey to help with my allergies, and at the market I can talk to the apiarist (beekeeper) to find out just what “local” means.  In this case, it means just up the road from my house!  I’ve even been able to find honey specific to my allergies.  Since I’m allergic to flowering weeds, I go for a wildflower honey as opposed to an orange or lemon honey.

I also like to treat my family with good cheese from the market.  It just tastes so much more flavorful when it hasn’t been made in a factory and sitting around a grocery store for a week or two.  It’s more expensive, so we eat it as a treat, and use the regular Tillamook for the sandwiches.  I also like to get Onions there.  The fresher the onion, the milder the flavor.  They just taste better.

Berries are also a good bet from the market.  Strawberries at the grocery store always seem to be just on the verge of getting furry.  The fresh berries from the market keep a little longer so there’s not as much pressure to eat them same day.

At this point in the post, if I lived in another part of the country, I’d probably talk about eating seasonally.  I live in the heart of strawberry country in California.  I’m 2 blocks away from an avocado grove and 3 away from lemons.  Across the street from my office are fields where they grow broccoli, cabbage, celery, lettuce, and whatever else they happen to plant.  Let me tell you, we don’t eat lunch outside the day after the cabbage harvest!  PHEW!  My point is this, though:  Everything is in season all the time where I live.  I don’t know that much about seasonal eating because we just don’t have to out here.

If you aren’t so lucky to live in such a temperate climate, though, Farmer’s Markets can be a great way to eat more seasonal foods.  Eating seasonally means you’re eating closer to home, and eating locally not only supports your local economy, but it reduces your carbon footprint.  It’s amazing what it takes to get a vegetable from the field to your grocery store.  And here’s a hint: Most stuff you get even at Whole Foods had to come a long, long way.  Eating seasonally and locally means they didn’t have to spend the gas to truck it cross-country or worse across a continent.

To me, it’s much more important that a food be local than organic.  I’ll probably devote an entire post to this later, but for me, I would rather buy local grown conventional veggies than organic veggies that have been trucked cross-country or across the state.  Happily, at a farmer’s market, I can get food that is both local and organic.  I can also find out just what a grower means when they use buzz-words like “local,” “organic,” “free-range,” or “cruelty-free.”  These words carry a whole lot of connotation, but often very little specific substance.  ”Local” at the grocery store might mean it came from the field up the road, but more probably, it simply means that it came from the same state or region.  ”Free-range” sounds really good, but unless you know your chicken-farmer, it can mean anything from chickens happily frolicking in fields eating bugs and making love or it can mean the chickens were raised in those big chicken barns crammed in with a thousand other chickens.

At the market, I can ask the grower where their fields are, how they grow their food, and how they manage their animals.  For me, this face-to-face interaction with the growers is priceless.  It brings the food-cycle around full-circle.  More than that, with Gabi next to me, I can help the next generation learn where and how her food grows.

So if you haven’t been or if it’s just been a while, head out to your local farmer’s market.  See what’s there.  Explore the colors, the flavors, and the people.  You won’t regret it!

If you are a regular farmer’s market attendee, what are your favorite things to get there?  What kinds of things do you enjoy exploring?


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Cloth Diapering – Part 1

I have mentioned before that my family doesn’t cloth diaper, but I do love the idea of cloth diapering.  It’s a great way to reduce your impact on the environment.  Because of this, I asked several of my friends to write guest posts about cloth diapering for my Green Sunday segment.  This first post in a multi-post series is by a dear, childhood friend of mine, Katie.

Before our little one was born, I decided to try cloth diapers because I believed that they would be a better use of both environmental and financial resources.   I just couldn’t justify all of those used disposable diapers piling up somewhere.  This feeling was potently strengthened after our little one arrived and we went through 1100 diapers in the first two months!   Despite the added energy and water consumption required to wash cloth diapers, they are still radically better for the environment and perhaps the most earth-conscious decision parents can make.

Once I began researching cloth diapers, I found myself overwhelmed by the sheer number of options and opinions.  There are many styles of diapers (and numerous manufacturers, each with subtle differences), laundry routines and trouble-shooting solutions.  And, like most things, the internet provides a wealth of conflicting information.  After a lot of research, I had really learned very little because like most baby gear, each individual has different preferences.  For example, some people prefer all-natural or organic fabrics, while others prefer the moisture-wicking and cost benefits of synthetic fabrics.  Most people now prefer the fastening options that do not require diaper pins.  There are also numerous opportunities to match various manufacturers’ styles to your little one’s body type, such as more generous leg openings or a longer rise.  The sheer number of options can be frustrating, but it also means that you have a lot of alternatives to try if you are dissatisfied.

There seems to be a growing recognition of how overwhelming the cloth diaper product line-up can be.  One prominent cloth diaper vendor, Jillian’s Drawers, offers a cloth diaper trial for a mere $10 (provided you return the items promptly if you choose to not pursue cloth diapering), as well as a variety of sample packages.

Of course, trying out a lot of cloth diapering products can eventually translate to a significant investment, especially if you prefer cloth diapers with more features and/or organic fabrics.  This has been a disappointment to me as I naively imagined that cloth diapering would represent substantial cost-savings.  I still believe that we will save a lot of money in the long run, but at only seven months into cloth diapers, the cost benefits have probably been fairly minimal.  A large part of that is that our little one has grown at an incredible rate and is very tall.  As a result, many of the cloth diapers and covers that we tried had to be “retired” early, typically due to the rise being too short for our little one.  For example, we tried and loved Thirsties Duo-Wrap Snap Size 1 which is advertised to last until about 9 months or 18 pounds, but our little one outgrew it around 4-5 months and 15-16 pounds.  As our little one’s growth slows down, I expect that each size of cloth diapers will last longer and thus be more cost-effective.   Of course, our real savings will come when we can reuse all of these diapers with our anticipated second child.

I want to emphasize though that it IS completely possible to save A LOT of money with cloth diapering.  The bare minimum supplies would only be about $200, plus laundry detergent & utilities.  I also made simple cloth wipes out of 2-ply 8-inch squares of cheap flannel which have been a significant savings.  And rather than using any kind of wipes solution or expensive cloth-approved diaper rash cream, I prefer nearly-free plain water for the former and completely-free indirect sun exposure for the latter.  Line-drying your diapers can also drastically reduce your cloth-diaper-dependent energy bill.  If you are fortunate to be able to dry them outside, sunlight also has amazing diaper-brightening properties!  In addition, depending on your sewing ability and/or your willingness to learn, you can make your own cloth diapers.

An unexpected benefit of choosing to use cloth diapers has been the fabulous customer service I have received from cloth diaper vendors.   My favorite detergent company (Rockin’ Green) offers free and prompt trouble-shooting assistance.  When I asked their advice on how to fine-tune my laundry routine when I was battling diaper rash, they sent me a free sample of the new formula they were developing.   They then offered to make me custom detergent until the new formula would be commercially available several months later.

When I inquired about the availability of one particular diaper style, a favorite diaper manufacturer (ESBaby) offered to send me a free prototype of a new pattern she was developing for that style, provided I gave her feedback on the redesign.   ESBaby will also further customize their patterns by adding or trimming inches in the rise or crotch width, and covering the diapers with customer selected prints (or even customer-provided fabrics).  As an added bonus, many of these vendors are either work-at-home moms or moms transitioning into full-time careers.  It is a huge frustration to me that there seems to be serious professional stigma attached to women who want to return to the workforce after choosing to stay home with their young kids so I love supporting these mom-driven businesses.

Finally, anyone who chooses cloth diapers seems more than willing to help others get started or trouble-shoot.   I have personally benefitted from some great advice and instruction in this way, including an incredibly helpful and clarifying email from the other cloth diaper guest blogger, arranged via an email introduction from PallasAthena here at Knocked Up – Knocked Over.

There are some mild disadvantages to cloth diapers.  The biggest issue for us has been battling diaper rash.  Most people advertise that cloth-diapered babies rarely have diaper rash because they are changed more often.  We changed our little one 16-20 times a day for the first two months and still struggled with diaper rash.  In fairness, we seem to have a family predisposition towards diaper rash.  We pretty much have this condition under control now due to the reduced frequency of output by our little one and routine preventative air and indirect-sun exposure.

Obviously, cloth diapers require you to spend more time with your diapers.  Dealing with soiled cloth diapers seems no worse to me than dealing with soiled disposable diapers (Disclaimer:  our little one is still in the very early phases of solid food, so perhaps this issue might become more unpleasant in the future).  It does take some time, every day so far, to wash and fold cloth diapers, although far less time and effort than I expected.  I am fortunate to be able to stay home with my little one and his diapers which makes this process even easier.   I believe that it would be possible to use cloth diapers while working outside of the home, but it would require more flexibility and commitment and would be undeniably harder to manage.  But even partial use of cloth diapers would make a huge impact on the environment!

Another minor inconvenience has been finding roomy enough clothes to accommodate the added bulk of cloth diapers.  Our little one is fairly slim too, so I imagine this must be really difficult if you have a more Rubenesque baby.  In particular, pajamas are a problem.  Federal law mandates that children’s sleepwear either be made out of a non-flammable material or have a slim-fit so as to minimize the danger of the clothes igniting in a fire.  As a result, the overwhelming majority of children’s sleepwear is not cloth diaper-friendly.  Skirts are pretty forgiving for little girls, while stretchy knits work best for other bottoms.  There are some brands that I’ve tried that have a more generous fit, like Zutano, Hanna Andersson and Wal-mart’s Garanimals.  Except for the latter, these brands are pretty pricey though which was another small disappointment to me.

We have used disposables while traveling and both my husband and I strongly prefer cloth diapers.  With cloth diapers, it is much easier to customize the fit and style to our little one.  In fact, perhaps “CD” should stand for “Customized Diapers” rather than “Cloth Diapers!”  Additionally, the materials are much softer and more comfortable (we imagine).  We have also experienced significantly fewer blow-outs and leaks with cloth diapers.  Finally, they seem more breathable and trap less overall moisture.

To briefly summarize, I’ve listed below the pros and cons of cloth diapers from my experience.

Cloth Diaper Pros:

  • Environmentally-friendly!
  • Customizable fit, materials & absorbency (cute prints can be an added bonus)
  • Can be much cheaper
  • Softer against the baby’s skin
  • Better containment of bodily waste & odor
  • Fabulous customer service & support while often supporting mom-driven businesses

Cloth Diaper Cons:

  • Time & energy to wash diapers
  • Diaper rash (this might be fairly unique to our situation)
  • Can have significant upfront costs, especially if choosing to use premium diapers
  • Requires roomier clothes that may be more difficult to find


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Nurturing my daughter through an HG pregnancy

I’ve mostly been writing about myself and how I am dealing with this pregnancy and all the joys that have gone along with it.  I’d like to take a moment to talk some about how my daughter, Gabi, has been dealing with things.

Gabi was one of the first people we told about the new baby.  We wanted to let her know early what was going on so that we could help her deal with the hyperemesis gravidarum.  Not knowing when it would hit, we wanted to give her a foundation of age appropriate knowledge so that she wouldn’t be blindsided by the brutal reality of the situation.

One of the best ways she connects to ideas is through stories, so we began reading Mama has Hyperemesis Gravidarum (but only for a while) to her.  I wrote up a little review here if you are interested.

This story really seemed to help prepare her for what was happening.  I was able to tell her that “Mommy is sick.” And she would immediately make the connection and say, “Like Mama Bunny?”  Yeah, baby.  Like Mama Bunny.  Hyperemesis gravidarum was a term that she quickly learned to say, and because the book used to accurate medical term for the disease (as opposed to whitewashing over it), she was able to immediately grasp what was going on.

We experienced a lot of things that the Bunny family went through.  Gabi came to see me in the hospital which was very similar to the hospital illustration in the story.  Grandma came to help out and spend time with her just like Grandma Bunny.  And Mama had a black bag with a tube that gave her medicine just like Mama Bunny had.

If you have other children and are going into another HG pregnancy, I can’t say this enough:  Buy this book.  Or contact Ashli through her website for a free copy.  This really, really helped Gabi process what she was experiencing.

Now, I won’t say it was all sunshine and roses for Gabi.  It was hard on her.  She and I are very, very deeply bonded.  We sleep together (at least for the first part of the evening), and up until very recently we still nursed.  That is to say, our relationship is one of both physical and emotional closeness.  I knew the HG would render that kind of physical closeness difficult, but I didn’t realize how fast it would hit.  One day I wasn’t feeling quite right and the next I was in the hospital.  Having Mommy taken out completely like that was really hard for her.

For the most part, she seemed to handle things pretty well, but at daycare she became clingy with her teachers and sensitive with her friends.  Things that normally wouldn’t make her cry resulted in full melt-downs.  Thankfully, her loving teachers did not try to push her to “toughen up” or anything like that.  They knew from talking to us what was going on, and they compensated for what she wasn’t getting at home, but giving her extra hugs and affection.  Of course, they did not change their expectations for her behavior in the sense that they let her get away with acting out, but knowing what she was having to deal with allowed them to help nurture her through the toughest parts of the HG.

One thing that we never, ever did was tell her that the pregnancy or the baby was causing the HG.  She knew about the baby in my tummy.  She knew I was sick.  We were careful to avoid connecting the two.

Once the HG eased, things because much easier for Gabi.  Just like in the story, the HG was “only for a while.”  She’s back to her usual bubbly self, which is great.  She’s helping us think of names for the baby.  Right now, the baby’s name is Muggle-Wump after the monkey from Roald Dahl’s Enormous Crocodile.

We’re doing all we can to help her feel a sense of bonding and ownership with the baby now.  We refer to the baby as Her Baby, and Gabi has definitely internalized that.  She’s quick to remind us just whose baby this is!

She seems pretty excited about the baby.  She has a few friends at school who have new babies, one in particular is a baby girl who comes to visit often to pick up her older brother.  I love that she is getting that exposure early on with J and his baby sister.

She does seem to worry a bit about not being “little” anymore.  She reminds me a lot these days that she is little, and I always agree with her and re-assure her that she will be a kid for a long, long time and even when she’s a grown up lady she will always be Mommy’s little girl.  No pushing responsibility that she’s not ready for.

We’ve started talking about her being an “older sister” instead of a “big sister,” an idea from the Dr. Sears book What Baby Needs, a book I like because it depicts attachment parenting (breastfeeding, cosleeping, babywearing, etc) in a simple way for older siblings to see ahead of time.  She seems to prefer this terminology I suppose because it doesn’t seem to force any expectations on her.

At this point, she seems pretty enthused about Her new baby.  We plan to continue to reinforce the idea of participation and ownership from her so that she doesn’t feel shunted to one side after the birth.  The baby will be bringing Gabi her very own baby doll so that she can do the things that she can do the same things that Mommy does if she wishes.  I’ve got a child-sized Ergo baby carrier put away for her, and at some point in the next few months, I’ll take her to pick out fabric for a Gabi-sized wrap so that she can carry her doll in a wrap like Mommy does if she wants to.  We’ll also have a step-stool in the baby’s room so that Gabi can help with things like diaper changes if she wishes to.

I want to give her the opportunity to participate as much as possible.  If she prefers to step back, that’s okay, too, but I want her to know that she is and always will be one of the four primary members of the family.

So just to sum up, here are some of the tips in brief for helping older siblings with HG and pregnancy (the last few are still a little hypothetical to us):

  • Prepare them early to know what to expect – Seriously, do get a copy of Mama has Hyperemesis Gravidarum.  It’s wonderful.
  • Avoid letting on to them that the pregnancy (baby) is making Mama sick.  You don’t want them to blame or feel angry at the baby.
  • Let alternate care providers know early on about HG so that they can help nurture your child through it as well.  We lent Gabi’s teachers copies of the Mama has HG book so that they could talk about the HG in a way that was consistent to how we were talking about it at home.
  • Give them age-appropriate ways to participate in helping Mommy out (making a cool wash-cloth, carrying over a glass of baking soda water to rinse the mouth after Mommy pukes, etc)
  • Help foster a sense of ownership for the new baby by calling the baby Her Baby or His Baby.
  • Give them a mental picture of what to expect once the baby is born through books, play, art, whatever speaks to your child the most.
  • Don’t push more responsibility onto the child than he or she is ready for: try calling them the “older” sibling instead of the “big” sibling.
  • Once the baby is born, help the older sibling feel included by finding ways for them to participate in the care of the child whether that be through diaper changes, imitation play, or other activities.

 

Have any of you had to help nurture a child through HG or other very serious parental illness?  How did you help them cope?  What about dealing with becoming an older sibling?  Any tips you can share on that front?  Any favorite children’s books that helped with the adjustment?  My mom and I are only both only children.  All this sibling stuff in completely and totally hypothetical for me!

Don’t forget to keep voting for me every day!


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Are there some easy ways to go green in my house?

This is going to be one of those non-pregnancy-related posts.  Bear with me.

With Earth Day and Arbor Day only just behind us and a new baby on the way, I’ve been thinking a lot about simple ways for our family to reduce our impact on the environment.  It’s the Easter Season (for those who celebrate it), and it’s the Spring Season across the Northern Hemisphere.  It’s a time of fresh, starts and new beginnings.  What better time to set some simple goals for the summer?

We already do some fairly basic things that I think make for a positive start.  Juan, Gabi, and I carpool together most days to school and office.  For the days where carpooling isn’t possible, Juan is in the process of getting a motorcycle.  Honestly, he’s not getting it in an effort to be more “green.”  That’s just a side effect, but it’s certainly a positive one.  Of course, we recycle.  This is California after all.  It’s part of our city’s waste removal services.  We had our sprinkler system redesigned with a nifty weather station  that detects the temperature, humidity, and rain, and only waters when necessary and in appropriate amounts.  Neat, huh?  We also use drip irrigation through our flower beds.

Little things.  We’re not perfect.  We eat a lot of meat and have a grassy lawn.  But we do small things that I hope will have an impact somewhere.

But what else can we do?  It’s got to be painless and easy.  Tiny changes.  Certain male members of our household are often resistant to such changes.  What are some ways I can work some simple changes into our lives and make them a part of our Every Day?  In addition to sustainability, what are some natural lifestyle changes I can make to improve the health of my family as we ready ourselves to welcome our newest member?

I’ve also found a very cool website called Sustainable Baby Steps.  I can tell it’s going to suck up a lot of my time because there is just so much interesting information here.  It’s great because it’s organized in such a way so as not to overwhelm the reader.  It gives you some small, simple steps to start with before moving on to bigger and more drastic things.  Below are a couple of things I’m trying out or looking to try out in the very near future to help green my family.

Soap Nuts!

Not actually nuts, these berries contain saponin, a natural soap.  They come from (what else?) the soapberry tree.  I remember, as a kid, visiting a friend of my grandmother’s who had one of these trees.  She showed me how to agitate them in water to release the soap and sent me to school with a handful for show-and-tell.  I purchased some YoreGanics Soap Nuts from BabySteals, and I am eager to try them out.  According to the back of the YoreGanics bag, soap nuts are good for all types of water and any kind of washer, and they’re great for people with sensitive skin or issues like eczema and psoriasis.

Basically, all you do is toss a handful of the berries into a little cloth bag, throw them into the washer, and run it.  They can be used several times or until they get dry and shriveled, about 5-6 washings.  For us, that would be 2 weeks for each little handful of soap, but I’m not sure how that will play out with the very hard water we have here.

They do have a weird scent.  It’s a sharp, vinegar-like smell.  A little unpleasant.  Everything I’ve read, though, assures me that the scent is only present during the washing and completely disappears after drying.

According to this website, you can also use soap nuts for washing dishes, spraying down your counters, cleaning glass, and for various body care products like shampoo and body wash.

Neat!  I’m excited to try these!

Cast Iron Cookware

I have been yearning for a cast iron skillet for ages and ages.  I read lots of delicious-sounding recipes that call for them, but I’ve never had one to try.  Well, I finally broke down today and got one after reading this article from the baby steps page.  I just got a little 10 inch, very inexpensive skillet.  It’s nothing fancy.  It comes pre-seasoned according to the label, so I should just be able to dive right in.

I’ve wanted to try out cast iron for a while.  It’s naturally non-stick without the chemicals used for creating teflon or coated pans.  They last for generations.  Mom, watch out!  I’ve got my eye on your nice little cast iron skillet.  I know where you keep it.  It may find its way into my suitcase one of these days!

I also love that they naturally and gently impart iron fortification to your food as you cook with it.  Because of my very sensitive stomach, I’m not able to take iron supplements.  Heck, I can’t take them when I’m not pregnant without getting severely nauseated.  I definitely see the potential of the skillet for helping to boost iron levels for the entire family!

Along with my skillet, I picked up a sack of red potatoes.  I believe my first attempt at cast iron cooking will be potatoes.

Coconut Oil

Apparently coconut oil is some kind of miracle oil.  I picked up a jar of extra virgin coconut oil at my local health-food store, and so far I am very impressed.  I was surprised when I opened the jar.  I expected something more like olive oil, but the coconut oil is a solid, white, creamy substance.  This is, apparently, just fine.  It solidifies or liquefies depending on the temperature and it can go back and forth between the two states without spoiling or being damaged.  It has a beautiful, gentle aroma.  It doesn’t smell like coconut lotion, it just smells like a coconut because, well, that’s what it is!

So far, I’ve only used it for personal care.  It makes a great rub for my growing belly.  I don’t know if it will help prevent stretch-marks or not, but it certainly helps sooth the itching.  I’ve also been using it as a night cream for my face.  I’ve also been using it as a cream for Gabi’s cheeks.  She gets tiny, red pumps around her cheeks and chin, and this really seems to be helping with that.  I also put a little bit in her hair this morning to help with the dryness and to keep her curls together.  It worked great!  Not too greasy either.

I’m excited to use the oil for cooking.  I fantasize about a delicious rice recipe where I put a bit of oil in the pot, saute the rice gently with a bit of garlic, add chicken broth, cover and cook.  I bet it would be great to use when we cook Thai food, too!

The jury seems to be out on the health benefits of coconut oil.  It’s very high in saturated fat, but the saturated fat it has is on that is only otherwise present in human milk, which I find interested.  According to the wikipedia article, the only health studies on coconut oil have been done on hydrogenated oil, which is full of trans fats.  Extra virgin coconut oil has a completely different health profile.  The health claims are impressive, but seem to be backed with little hard science.

In the meantime, it makes a great, simple, single ingredient lotion!  And it doesn’t require all of the factory processing.  Less factory processing, of course, means less of a drain on resources.

Green My Period

This is obviously not an issue for me right now, but it will be again in the future.  I am not one of those ladies who is lucky enough to miss their period when they’re nursing.  Even breastfeeding full-time, I still got my period back 4 months postpartum with Gabi.  Just one of those things I guess.  There are lots of ways for us ladies to help reduce our very special and personal impact on the environment and improve our bodies’ health at the same time.

I already use a Diva Cup for my period.  I can’t recommended this enough.  I switched from tampons to this a few years back, and I love it.  You buy it once and simply wash it each day, then boil it when your period is over.  Unlike tampons, you don’t have to fool with it every 3 hours.  You empty it twice each day, and go about your business.  It could not be easier.  It does require a certain level of comfort with your body because you do have to reach up and retrieve it, but the health benefits that I have experienced make it very worthwhile.  Since I started using the Diva Cup, I have experienced fewer yeast infections, less cramping, and reduced vaginal dryness.  It’s been a very positive change for me.

Sometimes, the Diva Cup requires a little bit of backup.  Additionally, following the birth of our baby, a Diva Cup wouldn’t be an appropriate option for dealing with lochia.  Reusable menstrual pads are a great solution to both of these situations.  I have used GladRags in the past, and I will probably use them again.  I’m pleased to see that not only do they offer menstrual pads, but they have a kit for new moms and reusable nursing pads!  Nifty!  I will definitely get something like this for after the baby is born.  GladRags is just one of many companies selling reusable menstrual pads.  There are so many options out there, including lots of independent entrepreneurs that make and sell their own version, that the choices seem endless.  Cloth pads are easy to care for.   You just give them a little rinse and wash them in the regular laundry.  No biggie.

Reusable Shopping Bags

Okay.  Confession:  We have tons of cloth shopping bags, but we never remember to put them in the car.  Our grocery store charges a surcharge for plastic bags.  And still we forget them.  I am so ashamed.  This time of new beginnings seems like the perfect chance to really kick it into gear with these bags.  I will put several in the trunk of each car so that they will be there for us whenever we need them.  I just need to take some responsibility for this and make it happen.

Ideas I Fantasize About Trying

There are lots of ideas I would love to try but can’t right now due to health, time constraints, and resistance from that male family member I mentioned earlier.  Maybe they will inspire you!

  • Make my own body-care products like shampoo, facial cleansers, and lotions.  I actually did this a few times as a teen.  TONS of fun.
  • Use natural/homemade cleaners for my household cleaning
  • Join a CSA
  • Go to a farmer’s market every week to increase the ratio of local/non-local food in our diet.  What a good learning experience this would be for Gabi, too!
  • Cloth diaper.  This will never happen for us.  It’s one of those hills Juan is willing to die on, and I have accepted that.  You should definitely try it though!  It’s easier than you think it is!
  • Quit my job, move to a farm in Ojai, California, and grow organic herbs and veggies and make my own herbal skin-care products, raise my own chickens for fresh eggs, and have some goats to milk.  I wish!
I added a nifty baby steps badge to my side-bar.  I’m excited to try new things and maybe make some lifestyle changes.
How about you?  Is there something that you want to try to make your life more green?  Or are you already pretty green and you have some ideas of your own to share with me?
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