In honor of one of my friends who will be having her baby any day now, I thought it might be nice to pull together some of the thoughts I’ve been mulling over on different things that have made transitioning to motherhood easier for me. I hope this is helpful, not only to her, but to my other mommy friends and readers.
Cultivate Gratitude. I don’t mean thanking your adult friends for helping you. This goes without saying. I mean cultivating gratitude toward your baby. It can be so hard when you’ve been up all night, you’re tired, you’re hungry, and you just can’t find a spare second to yourself. I found myself, with Gabi, focusing on what I wasn’t able to do during the day. I wasn’t able to eat breakfast. I didn’t have time to go to the store. I didn’t get a nap. And on and on and on.
I found myself struggling emotionally with how I could manage everything. I felt like my ability to have a life of my own was slipping away. I became frustrated and occaisionally resentful. I felt overwhelmed.
But Gabi was patient with me. That’s the thing about babies. They are so forgiving. They won’t stop loving you if you mess up. They won’t say, “I told you so.” They won’t hold your mistakes over your head.
Gabi taught me that it wasn’t so important to be perfect. She taught me to appreciate each moment. Her patience and joy and love helped me to grow into the mother I am today.
With Katie, I was able to find something different within myself right away. Instead of focusing on what I didn’t get to do during the day, I found myself feeling grateful for what I was able to do. I thanked her every day for letting me take a shower, for letting me eat breakfast, for napping while I drove, for letting me suction her nose without a fuss, for putting her legs down while I changed her diaper, and on and on and on. It’s amazing how powerful those two words can be.
Try it. Say those words. Say them out loud. Say them when you’re frustrated. When you’re in the shower and you’ve only just soaped your hair and your baby starts to cry and you know you won’t have time to do anything else except rinse the bubbles and dry off. Say, “Thank you baby for giving me the time to wash my hair.” Take a deep breath and let the rest go. It makes a huge difference.
I am finding gratitude in all parts of my life. I’m digging deep when my bouncy four year old knocks something off the table.
Thank you Gabi. Thank you for your joy and energy.
I’m finding it when my husband is stressed and grouchy from work. Thank you Juan for keeping a roof over our heads.
This gratitude helps me get through my day.
So my advice to new moms is this: Don’t focus on what you didn’t accomplish. Thank your babies for the small things. The small moments. The time to eat a snack or use the restroom or shave your legs. Find joy in the little things.
And to my daughters, Katie and Gabi? Thank you. Thank you both. Thank you for your patience and your unwavering love. Thank you for teaching me to be a better person. You are my two blessings, and I give thanks for you every day.