Knocked Up – Knocked Over

my journey through pregnancy and hyperemesis gravidarum

Category Archives: Natural Parenting


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Is it time to take my own advice?

Way back in November 2011, I wrote a post called In Defense of Nail Biters.  At the end of the article, I gave the following advice to parents whose kids bite their nails:

If you have a kid who bites his or her nails, please just leave them alone and let them grow out of it on their own.  The more you push, the more they’ll bite.  Please don’t feed the cycle.

I’m sorry to say that I have not been taking my own advice.  Oh sure, I leave Gabi alone about biting her nails, but there’s this other habit that she’s developed that I bug her about constantly.  Gabi has the habit of twisting and twisting her hair until it is tied in knots.  We call this “making dreadlocks , and we constantly pester her to stop.  When I brush her hair and I can tell it’s really tangled, I always ask, “Have you been making dreadlocks?”  And she always hangs her head and says yes.

Thinking about it, though, how is “making dreadlocks” fundamentally different from nail biting?

Hard truth?  It isn’t, and I’ve been shaming my kid about it, and that is not okay.

Man, that is so hard to write.  Acknowledging that I have a problem, though, is an important step in making positive changes.

I need to get honest with myself.   Why does the dreadlock making bother me so much?

  • It makes tangles that are hard to comb.  She combs her own hair for the most part, and isn’t what what conditioner and detangler is for?  It is her hair.  If she is not bothered by it, I need to not be either.
  • It breaks her hair.  I originally wrote that sentence as, “It breaks the hair.”  I had to go back and rewrite it.  It’s not the hair, it’s her hair.  Like fingernails, hair grows.  I need to let this go.
  • It leaves her hair looking perpetually messy.  She’s a little girl full of energy, bounciness, and excitement.  Her hair will never be perfectly coiffed.  Mine sure never was.  I need to let her get on with more important things like swinging on swings and following ants.

And for some reason, and I have no idea why, it’s almost like I take the dredlock making as a personal attack.  Like she’s doing it just to bug me especially.  And that is completely irrational.  There is some baggage deep inside that I can’t pinpoint that I am asking my five-year-old to carry.  And that is not fair to her.

As an adult, it is up to me to set the tone of the relationship.  I can make our relationship about pestering and nagging, or one of peace and attachment.

Right here, right now, I am choosing peace and attachment.

This is me, sitting down, taking stock of where we are in our family, and making the decision to take my own advice.  I’m not going to bother Gabi about her hair anymore.  We’ve got better things to do.


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More Cloth Diapering Saga: Wool

When we left off oh-so-many months ago, I was in the process of switching Katie from disposable diapers to cloth diapers for night time, and I was just about to try wool for the very first time.  My wool finally arrived in the mail, I lanolized it (more on that later), and tried it out.  We haven’t looked back!  When she wears the PUL covers (the ones with the plastic, waterproof lining) we get leaks.  When she’s in wool? NO LEAKS.

So, let me share with you my love of wool.  I love wool so much now that Katie goes to bed dressed in wool from head to toe.  You might find yourself wondering, “Why wool? Won’t it be hot? Itchy?”

Why Wool?

Surprisingly, I have found that Katie sweats far less when she is in wool.  This is because, unlike cotton, the wool wicks moisture away from her skin and allows it to breathe.  Even on the hottest nights here–and believe me, with no AC and the Santa Ana winds blowing, we get some hot nights–her skin feels cool, fresh, and dry under her PJs.  When you’re hot, wool helps you cool down.  When you’re cold, it warms you up.  Additionally, because she doesn’t have her butt wrapped up in what is, if you think about it, a plastic bag, her little bootie can breathe, too.

What about the itch factor?  This is a biggie for me.  I am one of those people who thinks of themselves as being “allergic” to wool.  I hate wearing wool sweaters.  The itching just makes me insane.  That said, I have not found the baby wool, which is generally 100% merino, to be itchy at all.  It’s very soft against the skin.  She seems to sleep comfortably in it, and there are no signs of irritation on her skin in the morning.  Something about the way this wool is processed helps to ensure that it stays soft.

Some other advantages of wool?  Wool is naturally fire retardant so you don’t need to worry about the harsh flame-retardant chemicals in pajamas.  Because of the lanolin, wool is self-cleaning and doesn’t need to be washed as frequently as another kind of cover or clothing.  Longies and shorties (long pants and short pants) make great articles of clothing on their own so you don’t need to worry about finding clothes to fit a cushy cloth-diapered baby butt, which, as my friend Katie explained her her cloth diapering guest post last year, can be a legitimate problem. Actually, it’s best to not put anything over the wool.  Cotton pajama bottoms run the risk of wicking the urine out of the wool and into the cotton, so the wool stands alone as diaper and PJs all in one.

Katie in all her wooly glory.

Wool Care

Wool care is easier than you might think, so please don’t be intimidated.  If I can do it while working 40+ hours per week outside the home and chasing two busy kids, it’s got to be easy, right?

The main thing to remember about wool is that you don’t actually need to wash it that often.  I wash mine every 2-3 weeks, and it does just fine!  The lanolin in the wool and the naturally antibacterial properties of the wool itself make it self-cleaning.

Lanolizing is basically infusing the wool with more lanolin.  Lanolin is just the natural oils that sheep have on their skin and wool.  Unfortunately (or fortunately) since the sheep is no longer attached to the wool, you do have to replenish the lanolin periodically.  I do this at the same time as I clean it.  It all gets cleaned and lanolized in one go.  Easy!

So here’s how I clean and lanolize my wool (I usually clean and lanolize two covers at a time):

  1. Run your water until it’s very, very hot.
  2. Put a dime sized blob of lanolin onto the bottom onto the bottom of your sink or a basin.  I use a basin dedicated to the purpose because the lanolin leaves a sticky residue that I am too lazy to clean out of my sink every time.  If I get extra lanolin on my fingers, I don’t bother to scrub it off.  I just wipe it off on the crotch of the waiting wool.  A little extra in the wet zone never hurt anyone.
  3. Run a bit of very hot water over the blob of lanolin (just enough to cover it) and swish it around until the lanolin melts.  Remember, it’s oil so it won’t mix with the water.  Squishing the blob with the non-fuzzy end of my toothbrush helps me think it melts faster.
  4. Add the wool wash as directed by the manufacturer, and yes, you do need a special wool wash for this.  More on this later.
  5. Swirl the wool wash around the basin gently and you will notice that the lanolin clumps disappear and the water turns milky and white.  This is exactly what you want to happen!
  6. Add cool water to fill your basin.  The resulting water should be a little warmer than room temp, but not hot enough to take a bath in.
  7. Add your woolies, squashing them around to make sure they get really saturated.
  8. Walk away and forget about it for a while.  I usually leave mine overnight or all day while I am at work.
  9. When they’ve soaked long enough, squeeze the excess water (no need to rinse if you’re using a proper wool wash), but don’t wring them out.  Just squeeze.
  10. Roll them up in a towel and squish the towel to get even more water out.
  11. Allow them to dry completely (24-48 hours).

Honestly, I know this sounds involved, but realistically, steps 1-8 take five minutes.  I have been known to lanolize woolies while I am at work, even.  It’s so quick to get the soak ready that I can do it as I brush my teeth.

When the wool is dry, it will feel a little sticky.  This is fine.  It’s just excess lanolin.  It will wear off on your baby and you as you snuggle together.  No need to worry about lanolin residue on the skin either. It is actually good for your skin.  Think of the lanolin nipple creams!

What about the Wool Wash and the Lanolin?

Wool wash is easy.  I use Eucalan.  It smells amazing and you don’t have to rinse it.  I have friends who use wool wash bars.  Do not use Woolite.  It is definitely not the same thing.

Lanolin is slightly trickier.  I have tried Lansinoh lanolin, but I found that the new version doesn’t melt well and the water doesn’t get cloudy when you mix in the wool wash.  I have a tube of old, expired Lansinoh from when Gabi was a baby and that works pretty well.  They must have changed the way they process it at some point.  I have been told that Medela lanolin nipple cream absolutely will not work, and this is probably because it is not 100% pure lanolin.  My current favorite, though, is Sheepish Grins solid lanolin that I get from my local baby store.

Wool diaper covers are great.  They’re amazing for overnight and heavy wetters and they are a wonderful, natural alternative to PUL.  You wouldn’t think that a butt sweater would make a great diaper cover, but they do.  Since switching to wool, we haven’t had a single leak!

If you’re interested in trying wool, but you’re not to hip on shelling out the big bucks for an expensive wool cover, I recommend the Disana merino wool cover.  It’s a great price and allows you to try it out before committing to multiple expensive covers. This was the cover that got me hooked on wool!

Have you used wool or did you find it too intimidating?  Do you use it all the time or only at night?  What is your wool washing routine like?

Stay tuned! I’m experimenting with making my own wool covers.  I will update you once I get my technique figured out. I’m also playing with flat diapers. More on that later, too!

Edited to add: By the way, if you are interested in getting the diapering items I mentioned here, you can help support this blog by clicking through to Amazon using this link: http://astore.amazon.com/knoupknoove-20

I’ve put together my favorite diapering items and other parenting and related items. Ordering through this link does give a small percentage that will go to covering the cost of the domain and other associated small costs. Thank you!


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No, really. I’m sleep deprived.

It is amazing how completely different my two girls are.  Their personalities, their likes and dislikes, and their habits.

Right now those differences are most apparent in the realm of sleep.  Gabi was such an easy sleeper.  She had her moments.  Like with all babies, sleep comes and goes.  In retrospect, it was predictably cyclical, though.

We (and if you’re a new parent take notes) expect to see sleep regressions around the time of growth spurts and milestones.  Four months and eight months are a very big deal.  Milestones and growth spurts all converge during those times and sleep takes a hit.  A big hit.

But it passes.  I remember with Gabi wondering if I was doing something wrong.  I remember thinking, “Gosh, do I have to sleep train her?”  I wondered if she just wasn’t able to sleep because I never taught her to do those things that my coworkers were talking about.  I remember words like “self soothe,” “bad habits,” and others whirling around my brain.

Thank heavens for the Kellymom.com forums.  They stay absolutely on message and make it very clear that you can no more “train” a baby to sleep than you can “train” a baby to walk and talk.  Sleep, Kelly says, is a milestone that many kids don’t reach for several years.

From Kelly’s article Sleeping Through the Night:

Your baby will begin to comfort herself and to sleep for longer stretches at her own developmental pace. If your baby wants to nurse at night, it is because she DOES need this, whether it’s because she is hungry or because she wants to be close to mom. Sleeping through the night is a developmental milestone (like walking or toilet training) that your baby will reach when she is ready to. Trying to force baby to reach this before her time may result in other problems later on.

I’m so glad that the Kellymom forum moderators take such a strong stand on this issue.  It’s coming out more and more that leaving a child alone to “cry it out” (cry what out exactly?) can actually cause brain damage.

So I just plugged along through those mercifully short sleep regressions with Gabi, and, just like Kelly promised, the constant waking passed.

Thank goodness I know that now.  Katie is really giving me a run for my money.  Her 4 month sleep regression merged into a 6 month sleep regression and when we hit 8 months last week, all bets were off.  We are deep into the 8 month sleep regression with no end in sight.

Nursing to sleep. No longer the magic trick it used to be.

She’ll take an hour to nurse herself to sleep at night.  She wakes hourly to nurse.  This week we’ve added a new element to the mix.  She’ll nurse to sleep starting around 8:30 PM, but then when she’s finally asleep and letting go and I’m thinking I can drop off to sleep too, those little eyes pop open, and now YAY!  It’s happy baby fun time!  She crawls all around, practices pulling up on the side of the crib we have Macgyvered to our bed, climbs over me to try to get to the exciting looking alarm clock, chews on my shoulders, sticks her fingers up my nose and in my ears, and just generally has a cheerful and noisy time. 

Happy Baby Fun Time! Standing rules!

This went on from 9:45 last night to 11.  Finally, she went to sleep.  And then woke up every hour afterwards to sit up and crawl in a circle and then nurse again.  At 5:30 AM, she decided it was time to greet the morning.  So up she got.

No point in going back to bed.  I had work to get ready for.  So up I got, too.

I fantasize about a 4 hour stretch of sleep.  I can’t remember what that’s like.

Thank goodness for Gabi.  Thank goodness she taught me that this will pass and things will get easier.  Thank goodness for cosleeping!  Right now I can nurse her and then just roll over and fall back asleep.  Imagine if I had to get my tired self up, haul my carcass down the hall, try unsuccessfully multiple times to put her down in the crib without waking her, haul my carcass back down the hall to my bedroom, and then try to fall asleep?  Good lord!  That sounds like a nightmare!

I didn’t talk much about it when Gabi went through her wakeful cycles.  I didn’t have the same kind of supportive community, and I wanted to avoid the inevitable, “Well, maybe it’s just time to let her cry. I let my kids cry and they turned out just fine.” 

I’m more confident now, and I know from experience that this isn’t a forever thing.  So now, when people ask, I’m open about it.  I say, “We’re smack in the middle of the 8 month wakeful period.  It’s really hard, but I know it will pass, and I know that she needs me right now.”  Sometimes I follow with an, “I’m so glad we’re cosleeping.  It makes things so much easier for all of us.”

At any rate, I am seriously sleep deprived now.  I think I’m handling things pretty gracefully, but wow.  I’m tired.

Which is probably why this post is so disjointed.  Maybe tonight will be the night that she sleeps.

Sweet dreams are bound to come soon, right?


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Naturally Dyed Easter Eggs – The Answers

Last week, in celebration of Easter, Gabi and I dyed eggs using food-based ingredients.   Here’s a quick link in case you missed that post.  It was so much fun and a few of the colors were so surprising that I decided to make a game of it and let you guess which ingredients produced which colors.

Here’s that list of dye ingredients again:

  • Spinach
  • Beets
  • Turmeric
  • Purple Cabbage
  • Yellow Onion Skins
  • Blueberries
  • Paprika & Chili Powder

And here’s that picture with the numbered eggs:

Which egg is which?

 

I had a few people guess in the comments and several guess in real-life and via email.  So here are the answers!

# 1 - Onion skins. I love how the membranes of the onions left that pretty pattern on the shell.

#2 was blueberries. Look at the polka-dots left behind where the berries rested against the eggs!

#3 was spinach. I think if I had processed the spinach in a blender I might have gotten a greener color. But it's still so soft and pretty.

#4 was a blend of paprika and chili powder. Juan said that this one looked like marble.

#6 was beets. This one actually changed pretty significantly as it dried. It turned into a beautiful green and purple marbled effect which you can almost see in this picture.

#6 was turmeric. I loved how speckled this turned out!

#7 was purple cabbage. This one was such a pretty surprise! Who knew that the purple cabbage would turn blue!

I hope you all had a wonderful week this week!  Happy Easter, happy spring!


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Wordless Wednesday – Sitting Up

 The ability to sit up unassisted coincides with the closing of the gut in infants, which is why it’s an important milestone to wait for before introducing solids.

More info 

SAMSUNG


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Easter Eggs, Naturally! – and a game

I loved dying Easter eggs when I was a kid.  I loved the colors.  I loved the weird smell of the dye.  I loved eating them afterwards and feeling so lucky when I got one where the shell had cracked and the white was tinted a nifty color.  Easter eggs are so much fun.

I haven’t dyed Easter eggs in years!

This year, I decided it was time to start passing that tradition along to Miss Gabi.  But, like many of the things I’ve done over the last year and a half, I decided to see if there was a natural way to dye the eggs.  As it turns out?  There absolutely is!

This year, we dyed eggs with things in our pantry!

It was surprisingly easy.  Sure, it took a bit more work than the PAAS kits, but only a bit.  I just hard-boiled my eggs, researched my ingredients, dumped them into jars, and made my dye.

Here’s how to dye the eggs:

  1. Put a handful of the ingredient into the bottom of a large mason jar.
  2. Pour boiling water over the ingredient to fill the jar.
  3. Allow the ingredient to steep in the hot water until the water cools (several hours).
  4. Place the eggs in the jars and poke them right down to the bottom.  The dye will overflow, so do this over the sink.
  5. Leave them overnight in the fridge.
  6. Pull them out in the morning and take pictures to show your friends on the internet.

Pretty!

These turned out so well.  The colors are so soft and the various ingredients I used to dye gave a pretty marbled appearance.

Here’s a shot of the jars of dye in action:

From left to right we have: onion skins, paprika & chili powder, blueberries, beets, turmeric, spinach, and purple cabbage.

I probably would’ve gotten darker colors if I had boiled the dye ingredients for some time instead of just steeping them and letting them cool right away.

The Game – Guess which Dye made Which Egg

Gabi and I had such fun finding out what colors the dyes made.  There were some real surprises in there!  See if you can match the eggs to their dyes!

Here are the dye ingredients again:

  • A. Spinach
  • B. Beets
  • C. Turmeric
  • D. Purple Cabbage
  • E. Yellow Onion Skins
  • F. Blueberries
  • G. Paprika & Chili Powder

Here’s a shot of the eggs, numbered to make it easier:

Leave your answer in the comments.  Next week, I’ll post the answers and you can see if you got them right!

Happy Easter everyone!


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Advice for New Moms: Cultivate Gratitude

In honor of one of my friends who will be having her baby any day now, I thought it might be nice to pull together some of the thoughts I’ve been mulling over on different things that have made transitioning to motherhood easier for me.  I hope this is helpful, not only to her, but to my other mommy friends and readers.

Cultivate Gratitude. I don’t mean thanking your adult friends for helping you.  This goes without saying.  I mean cultivating gratitude toward your baby.  It can be so hard when you’ve been up all night, you’re tired, you’re hungry, and you just can’t find a spare second to yourself.  I found myself, with Gabi, focusing on what I wasn’t able to do during the day.  I wasn’t able to eat breakfast.  I didn’t have time to go to the store. I didn’t get a nap. And on and on and on.

I found myself struggling emotionally with how I could manage everything.  I felt like my ability to have a life of my own was slipping away.  I became frustrated and occaisionally resentful.  I felt overwhelmed.

But Gabi was patient with me.  That’s the thing about babies.  They are so forgiving.  They won’t stop loving you if you mess up.  They won’t say, “I told you so.”  They won’t hold your mistakes over your head.

Gabi taught me that it wasn’t so important to be perfect.  She taught me to appreciate each moment.  Her patience and joy and love helped me to grow into the mother I am today.

With Katie, I was able to find something different within myself right away.  Instead of focusing on what I didn’t get to do during the day, I found myself feeling grateful for what I was able to do.  I thanked her every day for letting me take a shower, for letting me eat breakfast, for napping while I drove, for letting me suction her nose without a fuss, for putting her legs down while I changed her diaper, and on and on and on.  It’s amazing how powerful those two words can be.

Try it.  Say those words.  Say them out loud.  Say them when you’re frustrated.  When you’re in the shower and you’ve only just soaped your hair and your baby starts to cry and you know you won’t have time to do anything else except rinse the bubbles and dry off.  Say, “Thank you baby for giving me the time to wash my hair.”  Take a deep breath and let the rest go.  It makes a huge difference.

I am finding gratitude in all parts of my life.  I’m digging deep when my bouncy four year old knocks something off the table.

Thank you Gabi.  Thank you for your joy and energy.

I’m finding it when my husband is stressed and grouchy from work.  Thank you Juan for keeping a roof over our heads.

This gratitude helps me get through my day.

So my advice to new moms is this: Don’t focus on what you didn’t accomplish.  Thank your babies for the small things.  The small moments.  The time to eat a snack or use the restroom or shave your legs.  Find joy in the little things.

And to my daughters, Katie and Gabi?  Thank you.  Thank you both.  Thank you for your patience and your unwavering love.  Thank you for teaching me to be a better person.  You are my two blessings, and I give thanks for you every day.


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A Breastfeeding Kit

I’ve been nesting lately, which is kind of fun.  This weekend, I’ve been putting together my breastfeeding kit, so I thought I’d share with you what all I’m putting in it.

Nursing Bras

Yep.  Gotta have some nursing bras.  I went to my local breastfeeding store (seriously, skip the mall), and got measured.  I came home with:

  • A Bravado Original Nursing Bra - Here’s something to take note of: If you are large-chested, Bravado is the way to go from what I hear.  They specifically design nursing bras to fully support women with larger breasts.  Nice, eh?
  • A Majamas Easy Bra - This bra is unbelievably comfortable and still very supportive.  It’s going to be a fantastic sleep bra.

Now the rule of thumb on nursing bras is this: Before you have your baby get a “transition” bra.  You don’t know what your size is really going to be until later.  After your milk comes in and your supply settles down a bit, go out and get a few regular nursing bras.   The Bravado bra I got will do double duty as a transition bra and a real nursing bra.  Later on, though, I want to get fitted for a Hotmilk bra!  Now, I’ve never worn one of these, so I can’t write with any sort of authority on whether or not they do a good job, but aren’t they gorgeous?  Wow!

Nursing Pillow

Thankfully, I’ve already got one of these.  All I have to do is wash the cover.  If you’re making your own breastfeeding kit, though, I can unreservedly recommend the My Brest Friend nursing pillow.  Okay, I know the name is really corny, but this pillow is hands down the best pillow out there.  I am not kidding when I say that if I hadn’t found this pillow, I probably would’ve given up nursing with Gabi.  The Boppy and the bed pillows were a squishy, sliding nightmare.  If you get one thing, get this pillow.  It’s awesome.

Breast Pads

Last time, I just used disposable pads.  This time, I want to be a little more environmentally (and financially!) savvy.  I got a free set of Bamboobies nursing pads as part of a World Breastfeeding Week promotion.  Supposedly, the bamboo is super absorbent and the heart-shape means less bulk under a bra.  The promotional pair came with a 20% off coupon, so I went ahead and got a few more.  They have multi-packs, so I got a pack with 3 regular + 1 overnight pairs and a pack with 3 regular + 3 overnight pairs.  I’ve never used reusable pads before.  I’m not sure if this will be enough or too many.  I’m not sure if I will love this particular brand.  This is all experimental, so please don’t take my mention of this brand as an endorsement because I just don’t know yet!  Hopefully, after I get the chance to use them for a while I’ll be able to tell you more about them.

Nipple Cream

Last time, I used lanolin nipple cream.  Unfortunately, I’ve recently come to understand that Lansinoh, the company that produces and sells most of the lanolin we find easily on the shelves here, is owned by a WHO Code violator.  I’ve mentioned in the past that this is a deal-breaker for me, so I’m seeking an alternative.  Aside from the WHO Code violations, I found the lanolin to be sticky and greasy.  It was difficult to put on and made peeling breast pads off my sore nipples to be quite painful.  Lanolin can also contain toxins, and that’s something I’d very much like to avoid.  With this in mind, I’ve opted for a nipple cream by Motherlove.  I’ve used their herbal supplements in the past and was pleased with the quality, so I opted to give their nipple cream a try.  Hopefully it works out!

Breast Pump

I’ve already got a Medela Pump in Style Advance from when I had Gabi.  Unfortunately, Medela has recently opted to violate the WHO Code in favor of marketing bottles to breastfeeding women (for an in depth look at the issue click here).  Because of this, I am not able to recommend Medela products to my friends and I am not comfortable spending money on Medela products.  To make things more difficult for socially conscious mamas, Evenflo, the owner of Ameda (another major breastpump manufacturer) has also chosen to violate the WHO Code.  At this point, to my knowledge, the only breastpump company that is not a code violator is Hygeia.  From what I hear, Hygeia makes fantastic pumps.  I haven’t ever used one, so I don’t know personally, but here’s a review that I found if you’re curious.  I had my old Medela pump suction tested yesterday, and we found that the suction is still just fine.  Because of this, there’s no reason for me to purchase another pump, so I’m stuck spending money on Medela parts.  It’s nice to save the money, but I wish Medela would comply with the WHO Code.  It wouldn’t be that difficult.

Milk Saver

Okay, this is a new one.  A few months ago, I visited a local breastfeeding store called The Pump Station, and my friend and I saw the My Milkies Milk Saver.  Initially, I thought it sounded weird.  Collecting milk while you’re breastfeeding?  Really?  Then Hobo Mama reviewed them on her blog (there’s a giveaway!), and I became intrigued.  So yesterday, I went to my local breastfeeding supply store (The Pump Station) and purchased one.  We’ll see how it works!

At this point, that’s what I’ve got in my breastfeeding kit.  Did you put together a breastfeeding kit for yourself or a friend?  If so, what did you include in it?


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World Breastfeeding Week – Talking to my Daughter about Breastfeeding

Last night, at the dinner table, my daughter and I had a conversation that left me feeling so sad inside.  We were talking about expectations for the new baby, and, as I often do, I asked her, “What do babies eat again?”

Gabi said, “Milk!”

“Milk from where?”

“A bottle!”

A bottle?  This from the kid who, up until a few months ago was nursing herself?  So I dug a little deeper.  I said, “Honey, babies drink milk from their mommies’ nipples.”  (This echoed the language she used to use when she would nurse.)

Her response broke my heart: “EEEEEEEEWWWWWWW!!!!!!!  Are you crazy?”

What on earth is going on here?  Did she forget our own nursing relationship so quickly?  Doesn’t she remember cuddling with me on the couch and in bed?  That was just a few months ago.  What happened?  Where on earth did she learn that nursing is something to go “EEW!” about?  Where did I go wrong?

We talk a lot about nursing in our house.  Gabi loves animals, and we have a book called Born Alive and Well that talks about mammals.  Whenever we see different animals we take the time to talk about them: 

Look!  There’s a bunny!  What kind of animal is that bunny?  A mammal.  That’s right!  What makes mammals special?  They have fur and they breathe air.  That’s right.  What do baby mammals eat?  They drink their mommy’s milk. 

And so forth.

Every day is a science lesson with Gabi.  When she plays with her toys, we talk about it: 

What does the baby horse eat?  I don’t know.  Is it a mammal?  Mommy’s milk!

I’ve worked hard to make sure that nursing is something that we talk about as being biologically normal.  It’s what mammals do.

We also have a book about new babies called What Baby Needs to help prepare her for what to expect after the baby is born.  It’s a Dr. Sears book, and it talks about new babies from an attachment parenting perspective.  Many of the images in the book (babywearing, nursing, sidecar cosleeping, etc.) are ones that Gabi will see when the baby is born.  I particularly like that the book talks about nursing and shows the mom nursing the new baby while she cuddles the older child.  Gabi chooses this book every few weeks at bedtime, so the concepts are ones that she’s become pretty familiar with.

One sticking point with the communicating about nursing is with her dolls.  She has a couple of dolls that came with bottles (don’t get me started on that!) and I haven’t gotten around to sneaking the bottles into the recycling bin.  She always insists on feeding the dolls with a bottle instead of nursing them.  I asked her why the other night and she said it was because she didn’t have any milk in her nipples.  I suggested she use her imagination but didn’t push the issue.  I’d rather nudge things along then push them.  I did point out to her that I’ve never fed her or any other baby with a bottle (truth), though.

I suspect a lot of this is what she sees at school.  There are a few babies at her daycare, but since the moms are away at work, she sees them eating from bottles.  She’s never really been exposed to breastfeeding outside of her own experience with it.

Could this simply be a case of her not making the connection between her nursing only a few months ago and a newborn baby (or horse or pig or manatee) nursing?  Could these be compartmentalized in her mind?

I certainly have plans and intentions for helping her to feel included in the care and feeding of the new baby:

  • I plan to get her a very nice baby doll as a “present from the baby” – one without a bottle
  • I’ve already gotten her a child-sized Ergo doll carrier so that she can carry her doll with her like Mama and Papa will carry the new baby
  • I’d like to get one of these nursing necklaces from my friend, and if I do, I plan to get a Gabi-sized one for her to use if she wants
  • If she asks to try nursing again after the baby is born, I’m more than willing to let her try

Will this help build within her mind the concept of breastfeeding as normal?  I certainly hope so.  I also hope that giving her some options on different activities to encourage her to mimic what we do with the baby will help her to view breastfeeding as a natural part of life.

Are there other ways that I can talk to her about breastfeeding?  How do you talk about breastfeeding with your children?

***

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I’m celebrating World Breastfeeding Week with Natural Parents Network!

You can, too — link up your breastfeeding posts from August 1-7 in the linky below, and enjoy reading, commenting on, and sharing the posts collected here and on Natural Parents Network.

(Visit NPN for the code to place on your blog.)

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