Knocked Up – Knocked Over

my journey through pregnancy and hyperemesis gravidarum


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Breastfeeding the Second Child Part 1: Not as Easy as I Thought

I thought it would be so easy.  I mean, it’s not like I haven’t nursed a baby before, right?  Three and a half years of nursing should make me an old pro, right?

Wrong!

This journey, while not quite as difficult as it was learning to breastfeed Gabi, has been incredibly difficult.

Katie latched on almost immediately after birth.  It was fantastic.  I thought we had it made.  But by day three, the pain was starting to get intense.  Note that I said “pain” and not discomfort.  Breastfeeding shouldn’t be painful, but this was.

She was born on Tuesday, and we took her to see her pediatrician on Friday.  He checked her for a tongue tie, but didn’t see one.  He encouraged us to meet with an IBCLC, Rhonda (not her real name).  We called her and scheduled an in-home visit.  Good thing, too, because by the afternoon I was in tears every time she latched.

She came and helped us to latch correctly.  Things got better for a few hours, but in the night it got much worse.  By morning, I was a bleeding, crying mess.

Saturday, I called her in tears because I was reaching the point where I just could hardly stand to bring her to breast anymore.  She recommended pumping and syringe feeding until my nipples healed.  I did not want to do that, so I called my midwife who came right out to the house and helped me learn a new position to nurse Katie in.

I still wasn’t healing, though, and the pain and bleeding were getting worse.

Monday, I went to a group meeting that Rhonda leads.  She helped me latch on there as well, but the meeting made me very uncomfortable.  Believe me, when you’re a deeply attached parent, hearing other parents talk about night weaning 5 month old babies through is not something you need to hear at 6 days post-partum.  Most of my tears were from the pain of nursing, but some were from grief for those poor babies who just needed their mommies at night.

Monday night, I went to a second meeting, where I met two angels: Shirley (not her real name) and Paris (this is her real name and here is her awesome blog!).  Both are IBCLCs for one of the hospitals here (NOT the hospital where they tortured me).  Paris taught me a 3rd way to nurse Katie, and it didn’t hurt!

Unfortunately, by the time I left the meeting at around 7:30 PM, I was shaking.  As I drove home, the shaking got worse and worse.  When I got home, I took my temp and it was 102 degrees.

Mastitis.

Juan ran to the pharmacy to get my antibiotics (God bless my midwives for acting fast and calling it in immediately), and I had to pump after every feeding so that the milk didn’t sit and grow bacteria.  It was a long, brutal night.

36 hours later, I was feeling much better.

It was Thursday, and we had an appointment to meet with Shirley.  She helped us again with Katie’s latch and taught me to tuck her little hips in against my body.  This is a natural way to get a baby to extend her neck a little more and to keep her from tucking her chin.  It worked!

But I had a suspicious tingle in my nipples and Katie’s mouth was coated in white.  We walked a block over to the pediatrician who took one look at her and diagnosed thrush.  I asked him to look in her mouth again for a tongue tie, but he very confidently said, “This babe is definitely not tongue tied.”

So after a week of Katie taking Nystatin and me taking Diflucan, we were ready to move forward.

But something still wasn’t right.  She was growing slowly and her lips were blanched after every feeding and full of blisters.  She also clicked and lost suction as she nursed.  Nursing wasn’t bringing me to tears anymore, but it wasn’t very much fun either.

What was going on?

Stay tuned for Breastfeeding the Second Child Part 2: Tongue Tied or Not?

 


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Post HG Pregnancy Wrap-Up

I am about a month out of my HG pregnancy now, which is hard to get my head around. I’ve got lots of questions swimming around in my mind.

Did that really just happen? Was it as bad as I remember?

I think the mind shrouds experiences like that in a kind of fog.  I know it happened.  I can go back here on my blog and read about it.  But it just seems so far away and unreal.  Maybe it’s the mind’s way of protecting itself.

Could I have done anything differently?  Did I do anything wrong?

I did so much research going into this.  I have to feel confident that I did the best I could and got really aggressive treatment.  Even with all of that, it was bad.

Really bad.

I still remember that Friday night with the nurses holding me down and trying to get a needle in me and the auditory hallucinations making me think my daughter was there crying for me.  I remember the ER doctor telling me that they were going to put a PICC in and start me on TPN and then 24 hours later another doctor telling me there was nothing wrong.  The night nurse taking my blood pressure so hard that all my needle sticks from earlier in the night started bleeding again.  I remember fighting for a PICC and having the hospital doctors blow me off.  Those three days haunt me.  What if I’d fought harder?  What if my regular doctor had been in town?  What if I’d left the county hospital and headed up the road to the private hospital?  Would my care have been better?  Would they have given me what I needed right then instead of putting it off until it was almost too late?

Did I really survive that?

I remember my mom walking in the door after flying all day and turning right around and taking me back in to the ER because my IV line clotted off.  I remember sitting in triage so scared of the IV stick that I was shaking.  I remember looking as hard as I could at a buckle on my mom’s shoe so that I wouldn’t have to see the needle that Trauma Nurse Andy was getting ready to put in.  I remember my mom hiking up and down the stairs to my bedroom bringing frozen cranberry juice and rehydrating me drop by drop.

And then it stopped.

And I felt guilty.

And then it came back a little.  And I felt guilty.  Because for so many women the 3rd trimester relapse is really bad, and mine was controllable with a doze of Zofran in the morning and a Nexium at night.  It wasn’t that bad, but I still hated every second of it.

And then, suddenly, it was over.  And I had a baby in my arms.

Am I normal again?

I think so.  I still eat smaller meals.  I think my stomach shrank.  I can take prenatal vitamins, which is kind of exciting.  I don’t have to take 12 different pills on schedule throughout the day anymore.  I can enjoy my food.  Even foods that I liked when I was pregnant taste better now that the HG is gone.

And more than anything, I’m happy.

Was it worth it?

Absolutely.  Both of my daughters are miracles.  They are amazing people.  I can’t even express how worth going through HG they are.

Would I do it again?

Absolutely not.  After Katie was born, while I was waiting for contractions to begin again so I could deliver the placenta, I was already asking my midwives to recommend someone to tie my tubes.

As much as I might want a 3rd child, there is no way I can survive HG a third time.  The disease has made the decision for me.  That’s kind of sucky.

Here are some raw numbers for you:

  • Starting weight: 139 lbs
  • Lowest weight: 127 lbs
  • Final weight: 185 lbs
  • Total weight lost: 12 lbs
  • Overall weight gain: 46 lbs
  • Max Zofran dose: 39 mg/day
  • Worst day: Friday, February 18th
  • Day I got my PICC: Tuesday, February 22nd
  • Day my PICC failed: Thursday February 24th
  • Day I turned the corner: Tuesday, March 15th
I think the bottom line is, I survived.  If anyone can get any use out of my HG experiences, it will make blogging about it worthwhile.  In the meantime, though, and for now, I need to not talk about the HG.  I need to leave it in the past.  There are other things I want to write about, and right now the HG just isn’t one of them.  I’ll leave up my protocol and the HG-related links, but for now, I just really need to take a break from that and write about other things.


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It’s been a while!

It’s been a while since I posted.  I think I have an excuse though, don’t you?

Baby Katie is doing quite well, but she is just keeping all of us very busy.

I definitely have a few future blog posts planned:

  • Our birth story
  • The aftermath of HG
  • Our nursing journey, which hasn’t been easy at all
  • Adjusting to being an older sister
  • Adjusting to being a Mommy of two
  • Our network of support

For now, though, I just wanted to check in and let you all know that I am still here, just very, very busy!

Many thanks for all your well-wishes and congratulations.  I’m not sure when I’ll be back to my regular blogging schedule, but I appreciate your patience in the meantime.

Also, please don’t be surprised by some visual changes. After making it through HG, I’m having a hard time looking at the old blog. It just dredges up memories.


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Baby Katie is Here!

I am quite delayed in posting this.  It’s been a little hectic around here.

On September 27, 2011 at 12:34 PM Baby Katie was born.  She was born in the water at the birth center without the use of drugs and weighed 11 lbs.  That is not a typo!

She’s absolutely wonderful.  Big Sister is doing quite well with everything, too.

I will write more later.  We’re very much in the hectic newborn stage, so I appreciate everyone’s patience.

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