Knocked Up – Knocked Over

my journey through pregnancy and hyperemesis gravidarum

Monthly Archives: June 2011


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Developing my 3rd Trimester Cocktail

I’m not quite into the 3rd trimester yet, but the HG has been creeping around the edges of my life.  I’ve had to start taking meds again, which is not particularly fun.

I had been waiting to take the Zofran until I really needed it.  I’ve learned that I have a hard time reading my body’s feelings since the HG.  I don’t always recognize mild nausea for what it is.  This means that I frequently wait to take the Zofran until it’s too late and I’ve already thrown up.  There’s nothing like having to scrub down bathroom in Jersey Mike’s.  Yuck.

I decided, this past weekend, that I needed to take a more proactive approach.  I called my midwives, who put me in contact with the back-up OB.  He was kind enough to write me a script for 100 8mg ODT Zofran tablets.  Thank you merciful heaven for good insurance!

I’ve started taking them regularly again.  Not much, but every single day.  I’ve also added Nexium in since I was having trouble with acid reflux. 

Of course, with the Zofran comes the joys of the Zofran side effects.  You know… that one side effect.  So I started drinking this stuff called Natural Calm, which is a Magnesium/Calcium supplement.

Natural Calm is a powder that you mix into water.  It fizzes up and becomes a lemon-flavored drink.  According to the back-up OB for my midwives, the magnesium helps stop muscle cramps in your legs, a real issue for many pregnant women.  The other benefit is that the magnesium helps you poop.  So bonus all around.

I had heard about this product during my last pregnancy.  One of my mom’s friends recommended I give this a try during my pregnancy with Gabi, but at the time I was concerned about shelling out money for the big jar of the powder only to find out it wouldn’t stay down.

Thankfully, my local natural food store held a health fair this past Earth Day, and there was a table set up with a Natural Calm rep and free samples.  She let me have a taste of it and sent me home with a handful of free samples in a variety of flavors to see which one sat best on my sensitive stomach.

At the time, she warned me to be careful with it.  The magnesium can cause loose stool in some people until your body adjusts to it.  “Trust me,” I said, pointing to my Zofran pump, “That’s not going to be a problem for me!”

I finally reached the point a few weeks ago where I could drink this, so I ended up getting a jar of it.  I got the Natural Calm Plus Calcium formula in Raspberry-Lemon flavor, and so far it seems to be helping.

So at this point, I drink the Natural Calm in the afternoon, and take a Nexium pill and an 8mg Zofran tablet before bed.  The idea is that the nighttime Zofran will carry over into the next morning.

So far, it seems to be making a big difference. I felt sad about having to restart medications, but the positive change in my overall feeling of health tells me that it was the right move.

Tomorrow, I’ll be 27 weeks tomorrow.  One more week until I officially reach the 3rd trimester.  I just need to keep taking things one day at a time.


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Pregnancy Math: Lack of Sleep + Pregnancy = Unhappiness

I’ve posted a few times about overdoing things and being punished by my body for it later on.  Usually this is because I’ve gotten involved in something I enjoy and I just want to keep going.  Some examples include my sister’s graduation from UCLA followed by a visit to the La Brea Tar Pits, Farmer’s Market followed by housecleaning followed by having 20 people over for a barbecue, and shopping all day for new clothes for Gabi.  In all of these cases, I was just having so much fun that I didn’t want to stop.  And I paid for it the next day.  In fact, following that ill-fated barbecue, I was laid up for several days.  It was bad news.

Well, I’ve done it again, except this time, it’s not my fault!  I swear!

Last night, after putting sweet Gabi to bed and going to be myself, I woke up to the second most dreaded night-time noise: the sound of our 7-year-old boxer throwing up in our bathroom. 

Our carpeted bathroom. 

(Yeah, I know.  Carpeted bathrooms are disgusting.  We completely agree.  The house came that way, and we haven’t gotten the chance to make the change.  If you want to volunteer to cut and lay the tile, we’ll pay you with hugs and yummy South American cooking.)

For those paying attention, you’ll notice that this is only the second most dreaded night-time noise.  The first most dreaded nighttime noise is the sound of dog pee hitting the carpet.  She’s seven.  She’s had bladder issues since we got her.  She’s pretty good about it usually, but sometimes she forgets to ask and lets loose on the rug.

For Sale:  Dog.  Real cheap.

I’m kidding.

Sort of.

At any rate, at 2 o’clock this morning, I awoke to the “HORK HORK HORK” sound of my dog barfing on the rug.  Normally, I would let Juan handle it since a good, solid block of sleep is pretty critical to me to help avoid HG punishment later on.  Last night, though, Juan wasn’t here, so the middle of the night puke patrol fell to me.

So I hauled my sorry carcass out of bed and walked downstairs to let her out.  She went right out the back door, turned around and looked at me.

It was a stand-off.

She obviously didn’t feel like throwing up anymore, and I didn’t want to let her in until she finished whatever it was she needed to finish.  Eventually, I relented and let her back in.  I grabbed the roll of paper towels and a plastic bag and headed upstairs to clean the mess.  The last thing I wanted to do was wake up to a room that smelled like dog barf.  Imagine?  My smell issues and dog puke stink?  Just kill me now please.

Thankfully, when I flipped on the bathroom light, I discovered that she had not, in fact, thrown up.  Thank heaven for small mercies.

So I went to bed to try to go  to sleep.  I even played my Hypnobabies “Deepening” hypnosis track.  For once, in my entire life, I did not fall asleep during a hypnobabies track.

Then, at 3:25 AM, “HORK HORK HORK!”  Oh, good gravy.  Really?

So up I got to let her out and again we had a standoff.

By this time, I had wised up.  I told the dog to lay down on her downstairs bed.  I figured, hey, if she pukes on the carpet, she pukes on the carpet.  I’ll worry about it later.  Then I shut my door and turned on the white noise machine.  Then I went to bed again.  And again tried-and failed!-to go to sleep.  This time I tried the Hypnobabies “Joyful Pregnancy Affirmations” track.  No luck.

At 4:15 AM, just after I managed to drift off to sleep, I hear a muffled “hork hork hork hooooooork” drifting up the stairs.  I tried to tune it out.  I really did.  There is just something about that sound, though, that is just hardwired into my brain to wake me up completely and put me on edge.

I finally managed to drift off into a light cat nap.

6:15 AM.  Dog nose in my face telling me that it’s time to wake up fill the food dish.  Much cursing and grumbling ensues.

The good:  She never did actually throw up.  She just made a racket all night.

The bad news: I got almost no sleep during the latter half of the night.

What does this mean for my HG?  That remains to be seen.  This morning, I actually seemed to be doing okay.  I did hop on the caffeine bus with a big cup of green tea in the morning and a glass of iced tea at lunch, but I can feel the exhaustion kicking in.

I am preparing myself for some pretty serious unpleasantness this evening.

Thank goodness for cold, leftover pizza and Yo Gabba Gabba.  They will be my saving grace tonight.


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Cloth Diapering – Part 2

I have mentioned before that my family doesn’t cloth diaper, but I do love the idea of cloth diapering.  It’s a great way to reduce your impact on the environment.  Because of this, I asked several of my friends to write guest posts about cloth diapering for my Green Sunday segment.  This is the second post in my cloth diaper series.  It was written by my good friend Jessica who owns Top to Bottom Baby Boutique in Omaha, Nebraska.  If you’re ever in the area, check out her new storefront!  She’s a fun lady and a great businesswoman.

Owning a natural parenting and cloth diapering store usually garnishes a lot of questions:  What started me cloth diapering?  Why did we decide to open the business?  And what do I find the most challenging?  Over the years, I’ve heard a lot of stories from moms and dads on why they started or what stopped them.  These stories, always intrigue me, because I love seeing what cloth diapering means to families.  One of the most popular questions I get is “How in the world am I suppose to use cloth when both my husband and I work full-time”.  This one always makes me chuckle, because it is my favorite topic!

Let me warn you, this always starts me on the discussion of laundry.  And just so we are clear, I hate laundry.  I’m not even sure that hate is a strong enough word.  Luckily, early on, I was able to convince Justin that it should be one of his tasks!  And I have dealt with shrunken clothes, things that have turned blue, etc in order to avoid laundry.  But diaper laundry I will do!  I love diaper laundry because I don’t have to sort, fold, or put away…though my good friend Maia does all of those for her diapers!

Justin and I have always both worked, and for the longest times we were on opposite shifts to avoid full-time daycare.  It made it very hard to avoid laundry duty.  When we began cloth diapering, we used a local diaper service.  After a couple of weeks we were having issues with leaks and I started looking for other options.  What I found was the wonderful world of fitteds, beautiful covers, and all around cute diapers.  Cuter than Cadence was wearing at that point.  As my research continued, we decided to move away from using the service and begin washing our own.  Two kids and three years later we opened our own store because there were no local options that allowed me to play with diapers (and as my husband tells everyone, I’m just not patient enough to wait for the mail to arrive).

With both kids in diapers, we knew we needed enough diapers to get through about two days.  Our diapers weren’t always pretty, but they were functional.  I would throw them in the wash after the kids went to bed and then into the drier before I went to sleep.  And inevitably, they ended up in a basket the next morning and that is where they stayed (I warned you, I don’t fold them!)  Diaper wash, in case you are wondering, is easy peasy–throw in everything, rinse, add soap (I love Rockin Green) and wash on hot, toss in the drier (or like our partner Robyn, hang up to dry).  I always warn everyone that it is a good idea to have a couple extra prefolds and a cover around for the inevitable time that you forget to do laundry until you put the last diaper on the kids (or when you are taking that last diaper OFF!).  Justin and I once had to fashion a diaper out of his t-shirt because I had managed to forget to switch the diapers to the dryer.  I’m not sure he found it as amusing as I did.

I’m sure at this point you are wondering about daycare.  We used two different daycares during our last 3 years and numerous trips to grandmas, so I have learned a very important lesson–most people think prefolds and plastic pants when you tell them you are going to cloth diaper.  We realized early on that it was easier to show them the types of diapers we planned to use then hope they knew what we were talking about.  I always tell moms it is important to take a diaper with you when you go meet a new daycare.  I usually also recommend using a Pocket or an All in One diaper because they are the most like disposables.  I am not a big fan of pockets, because it requires stuffing the inserts in the diapers.  I lose inserts like I lose socks (ie my hatred for laundry) so I tend to steer clear of these!  If I could, I would redo my stash in Bummis Tot Bots and Itti Bitti Tuttos but at this point with 2 kids who are potty trained except at night I am having a hard time convincing Justin that I need all new diapers!

Natural diapering is an option for everyone, working or stay at home parents.  Some parents go for the full cloth diaper experience, others use a mixture of cloth with disposable inserts (Gro-Via and Flip both make disposable inserts that can be used with the cloth covers), or the eco-friendly disposables (G-Diapers or Gro-Via bio diapers).  All of these are great options for parents.  There are so many options out there that everyone can find something they enjoy!


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Update on the Green Disposable Diaper Search

A few weeks ago, I told you all how we are searching for a more earth-friendly/baby-friendly disposable diaper option.  You can read that post here: Green Disposable Diapers?

As a part of that search, I wanted to see, in person, the different diapers and wipes sold by the main producers of “green” disposable diapers.  To that end, I emailed the four companies requesting samples of their diapers:

At this point, almost two weeks have passed, and here’s where things stand:

I heard almost immediately from 7th Generation.  The emailed me right away to thank me for my interest and let me know that they had mailed me some samples.  Sure enough, within a few days, a large envelope arrived in my mailbox (hand addressed I might add) with 2 newborn size diapers, 2 size 1 diapers, and a small package of 3 wipes.  Perfect!  This is exactly what I needed!  This lets me get my hands right on the diapers and wipes to feel them, smell them, see if there’s a scent or fragrance that bothers me, and just generally get to know the product!  They included a few coupons for diapers and other 7th Generation products.

Thanks 7th Generation!  This really helps me!  I appreciate the quick response and I appreciate your willingness to go further than what I requested to try to accommodate and win a potential new customer.  As someone who works in customer service myself, I appreciate this.  It’s good salesmanship, and it predisposes me to feel favorably about the product.

I also heard back from the Nature Babycare folks.  Here is the email they sent me:

Thanks for taking the time to contact us.  We certainly appreciate your interest in Nature babycare as we do have the “greenest” diapers on the market.  (See attached FAQ’s)

We receive hundreds of emails from people requesting free samples.  We have limited resources as we are a very small company and want to keep the costs to a minimum so that we can pass that savings on to you.  The best and most environmentally friendly way “to try” Nature babycare is to purchase from one of our online retailers who offer our items at a very reasonable price, some offer additional discounts/specials and free shipping with qualifying orders.  Visit www.Diapers.com, www.Amazon.com or www.Naturebabycare.com as well as others.

Please feel free to sign up at our website www.naturebabycare.com (envelope icon, use your email address) for postings regarding product announcements, upcoming news, specials and coupons. 

In the interest of brevity and privacy, I omitted the signature.  It was signed by an actual person.  I just don’t want to plaster her name all over the internet without her permission because that doesn’t seem like a very nice thing to do.

So, okay.  I can understand this.  I get that they’re a small company.  Totally respect that.  On the other hand, part of me is thinking, “Really?  You don’t have one diaper sitting around there that you could pop into an envelope?”

Let’s be real, though.  I am writing these companies asking for free stuff.  I’m not asking for a ton of free diapers (just one!), but still, it’s a rough economy, so I respect that a company can’t necessarily afford to send a diaper to every single person.  It does annoy me–in that slightly unreasonable, customer is not always right kind of way–that basically told me I’m going to have to go out and buy a whole big pack of these diapers.

But, check out what I did manage to find just this very moment as I was writing this post:  You can go to diapers.com and buy a sample of the Nature Babycare diapers!  For $0.99!  Who knew?  I wish the customer service rep from Nature Babycare had mentioned that in her email.  When I got her email, I imagined that I would have to get a whole pack of 70+ diapers.  Imagine my relief now in seeing that I can just get a little sample here!  Good news!  If she had said that in the first place, it would have been a lot more helpful.

I have not heard from the Huggies or the Earth’s Best folks, which annoys me slightly.  The good news again, is that I can pick up $0.99 Earth’s Best diaper sample from the sample area at diapers.com.  It comes with a free sample of their rice cereal.  We very adamantly do not do rice cereal, so that’ll get donated.  No biggie.  The bad news is that for the Huggies, I don’t see a sample option.  I’m not through looking, but it’s just not apparent at this point. 

The lack of a sample from Huggies doesn’t break my heart, but I don’t want to have to buy 30 diapers just so I can look at one.  I know if I hate them I can just donate them, but we disliked Huggies so much when Gabi was a baby, I’m not sure I’m interested in going out of my way to try these out.

Right now, I want to wait to get the diaper samples in before I really start trying them out.  I want to be able to look at them all side-by-side to see how they compare.  I want to do things like put them on one of Gabi’s dolls to see how they fit, pour water into them, and just generally mess around with them to get a better idea of how they work.

Of course, I will keep you all posted, so stay tuned for the continuing saga!


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That Alien Stage

I’m 25 weeks, 4 days along and I have officially reached that weird alien stage in pregnancy where you can actually see the baby moving around in my belly.

 I’m feeling sort of like that guy from Spaceballs.  You know, where they’re in the diner?

I prefer to think of things in terms of Spaceballs, rather than Alien because Alien scared the you-know-what out of me.

It’s kind of cool to sit there and watch my belly move, but it’s very strange.  It certainly feels real enough now.  Yes, I am definitely pregnant.  There’s a person in there.

At the same time, it’s frustrating.  I just keep feeling like I have decades left to go.  It’s just September 30th (realistically early October), but it seems like the summer is stretching out ahead of me like the Walmart parking lot.  The more I walk, the farther away the darn car seems. 

Ashli warned me in the beginning not to look down the time tunnel, but I just can’t seem to tear my eyes away from it.  And every time I get close, someone says, “Oh, look at you!  You’re almost due!” or “You’re in the home stretch!”  And the fact is, I’m not. 

I’m still in the second trimester.  My insides are still trying to crawl out to become my outsides.  My back hurts.  My feet hurt.  My pelvis hurts when I walk.  I’m tired.  I just had to refill my Zofran prescription.  And I’m still pregnant.

101 days to go.


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My Favorite Things Green Edition: JustFussy Cloth Pads

To my gentleman readers: If feminine hygiene makes you squeamish, you may want to skip this post.

I mentioned greening your period way back when I first started doing the Green Sunday thing.  Menstruation isn’t really an issue right now for me, but with the birth coming up, I wanted to go ahead and order a few cloth pads to try them out.  Since Diva Cups and the like aren’t an option postpartum, I need to find an alternative to dealing with lochia and other postpartum discharge.

With this in mind, I acted on a tip I received from a fellow poster on the Kellymom.com forums and contacted Christy of JustFussy which is a mom-owned business specializing in cloth menstrual pads, cloth diapers, reusable nursing pads, and undies.

I wasn’t completely sure.  I’ve used Gladrags before to back up my diva cup, and they were nice, but I didn’t love them, if that makes sense.  What I wanted was something more like the really nice cloth diapers with the ultra-soft and cushy insides.

JustFussy delivers the cushiness I wanted and more!  I wasn’t sure what I should get, so I emailed Christy directly and explained that I was looking for something for postpartum.  She was fantastic.  She recommended trying a few of the pads first to get a feel for them and decide which ones worked best.  So that’s exactly what I did!

Here’s what I ended up getting from her:

Christy was also kind enough to throw in

With the exception of the ultralight daily liner and the cloth rounds, the pads I got from Christy are made from bamboo velour with a wool backing.

This worried me.  First of all, the only velour I’ve ever worn was polyester and it tended to be hot.  Also, wool?  ’Scuse me while I drop an ice pack down my pants! *phew!*  Too much heat!  I’m a cotton girl all the way!  But I trusted my cloth diapering friends and I decided to give it a shot.

I am so glad that I did!

Let me tell you first of all how well these guys breathe.  Both the bamboo and the wool keep me feeling much cooler and fresher than even just my plain underwear!  When it comes to moisture (and yes, this is a serious issue during pregnancy), the bamboo wicks the moisture straight into the very absorbent wool backing.

What I’ve discovered is that the cotton pads I was using had been holding the moisture against my skin.  This left me feeling… not so fresh, let’s say.  It was quite a revelation to wear the Moonbow pads.  A very different  and much more pleasant experience.

Another thing I like about these pads is how they feel on.  I simply do not wear pads.  Before I switched to the Diva Cup, I used tampons.  Pads just were never something I liked.  For me they were hot, itchy, and smelly.  Gladrags were better, but they were bulky and still left me feeling gross and stinky.

I was pretty worried that these would be so bulky that I wouldn’t be able to deal with them.  Once again, Christy proved me wrong!  None of these pads feel particularly thick and bulky.  The velour keeps them soft and cool feeling on the fanny, and the wool allows them to be very absorbent without adding to the bulk.  Even the large, which really is overkill for right now, is still as comfortable as the thin little Moonbow liner.  I tried the XL pad last week because the others were all in the wash, and while that one certainly was bulky (4 layers of absorption anyone?) it was no more bulky than the Gladrags and definitely cooler and more comfortable.  I’m glad to know I don’t have to be scared of that one for postpartum.

The wingless Moonbows are really nice.  Later on they’ll act as boosters, but for now, I can just stick them in my undies like a regular pad.  The wool on the back keeps them from crawling out the back of my jeans, which has happened with the Gladrags when I use the boosters alone as a liner.  I have to be careful when I use the restroom so that they don’t fall in the toilet, but like the others, they do the job.  Right now they’re back up pads, later they’ll be boosters.  Christy also recommended soaking these in witch hazel and placing them in the fridge to help soothe that sore postpartum bottom.  Sounds like a fantastic idea to me!

Aside from the comfort, these pads are really pretty.  I’m such a sucker for color and JustFussy Moonbows deliver on that end as well.  I mean, it’s in the name!  Get it?  Moonbow?  Rainbow?  The fabrics are all hand-dyed, and I can tell you that several washings later, they’re still the same rich jewel tones that they were in the beginning.  Now I’m not saying you should throw your raspberry pads into the washer with your white shirts.  That’s just never a good idea.  But they have, thus far, not caused a problem in our laundry.  If you prefer, there is an undyed option as well.

I really, really love these pads.  I can’t wait to get more.  In addition to the one that I tried there is a Large Extra Moonbow pad that looks like it would be great for those heavier days.  It’s the size of the large, but has the same four layers as the XL.

All-in-all, I really can’t say enough good things about these pads.  I’m so glad I got brave enough to give them a shot.  They really are wonderful and you should definitely give them a try.


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Confessions of a Bad Mother

I am feeling like a horrible mother right now.  I have no patience with Gabi and it seems like all we do is butt heads.  Over everything.

Let me start by stating unequivocally that we are a no-spank household.  We try to be a no shouting household, too, but I’m pretty much failing at that.

Last night was awful.  It was right before bath time. She’d spent the entire evening dragging her feet and not listening and just generally being difficult. Juan was using the restroom which meant that the next 30 minutes were going to involve me trying to get her in and out of the tub and reaching across my enormous belly to try to get her clean while she danced in the middle of the shower instead of standing where I could actually reach her.

Right after I undressed her, she grabbed her comb and acted like she was going to put it in her butt. Her naked, sweaty, running around all day, filthy butt. I say, “Do NOT put the comb in your bootie.” And you know what she did?  She grinned at me and scrubbed it really quickly a few times right in her butt crack. And you know what I did? I reached around and spanked her. And then I felt horrible. Like I said before, we are a no-spank household. And I was spanking out of anger, which isn’t spanking at all. That’s just hitting. I didn’t do it very hard, certainly not hard enough to actually hurt, but her look of utter betrayal just killed me.

I ended up apologizing and explaining that I was just so frustrated because she did something on purpose just because I told her not to, but that it wasn’t okay to hit. And we hugged.  And we both cried.  I explained to her that she has poopoo germs in her bootie and that when she put her comb in her bootie she got poopoo germs on her comb. I told her that poopoo germs can make her very sick and it’s important not to put her hands and things in her bootie and that when Mama tells her something it’s to keep her safe and that she must listen to Mama.

Then when it was time to comb her hair after her shower (which was spent dancing mostly out of reach just like I thought it would), I reminded her about the poopoo germs on her comb and asked her why they were there. “Umm… I don’t know.” “Think really hard.” “Because I put my comb in my bootie?” “Yep. And you know what? I’m about to comb your hair with those poopoo germs.” Cue the dramatics: “I don’t want poopoo germs in my hair! No Mama! I don’t want poopoo germs in my hair!” “Well, you should’ve listened when Mama told you not to put the comb in your bootie.” And I combed her hair.

Then Juan came out of the bathroom and told me I was being mean so I left.

Right now she is really drawing out the worst in me. It seems like all I do is yell at her all the time. I hate it.  She’s just so darn contrary right now and my patience is so short from feeling crappy all day that I just snap at her constantly. The pregnancy hormones and just the pregnancy in general are making me cranky to a pretty strong degree.  And then last night I smacked her bottom. I feel like a horrible mother.

I just feel so overwhelmed with everything right now.  Thankfully I’m not nauseated 24/7, but there are some times that I just can’t get up off the couch.  It’s like she can sense those times.  She’s like a shark smelling blood in the water.  This weekend I was feeling very ill and I asked her to wash her hands in the bathroom as the kitchen sink had dirty dishes and a knife or two in it.  She grinned at me and washed her hands in the sink anyway.

Later, I asked her to pick up her toys and she crawled under the table and kicked the chairs for half an hour.  Now, she knows I can’t pick her up and carry her.  She knows I can’t bend over without getting sick.  She knows this.  Which is why she deliberately crawled under the table where I couldn’t pull her out.  And it’s not like she was at much of a risk for me taking the toys away because I couldn’t bend over and get them anyway.

Here’s the thing:  She’s normally a really easy-going kid.  I mean, this is the kid who, aside from a brief run-around on the grass and a few potty breaks, sat through an entire UCLA graduation ceremony.  She was better behaved than the very large group of adults that were sitting around us chatting at full volume the whole time.  For a kid, that’s pretty impressive.  For a 3-year-old, that’s just jaw-dropping.

But lately, she’s pushing her boundaries and I’m feeling really lost as to how to show her where the boundaries are.  My temper is incredibly short, I’m not physically able to chase her or move her or put her somewhere, and I just feel like I’m failing at the whole motherhood thing.

A friend commented recently that while parenthood shows you these deep wells of love that you never knew you had, it also shows you these deep wells of anger.  This is really ringing true for me right now.

I think recognizing that she’s testing her boundaries right now will really help me handle things better.  So will finding a way to be more consistent with discipline.  Right now she gets so many warnings to stop doing something that the whole thing becomes meaningless.

I think I need to find a way to reconnect with her.  It seems like the days turn into wakeup, shower, help Juan get Gabi ready, work all day, come home, crash on the couch, watch Juan shower Gabi, read her a story, go to sleep.  I really need to find some time in there for us to just connect together.  Heck, I’m even getting cranky during story time!

Something’s got to give.

I know adding a second child into the mix will just fuel the chaos, but I can’t help thinking it will be so much better because at least I won’t be pregnant anymore.

Meantime, I need to go cuddle with my firstborn and try to reach some middle ground with her.


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Pregnancy and Exercise

I need to be honest here.  I am not exercising. 

My intentions were good.  When I started feeling better, I signed up for a yoga class and I attended all of one of the classes. 

After that first class, I just spent the rest of the day feeling horrible.  The bending and moving and stimulating of my digestive system and blood flow just left me feeling like I needed to puke.  It was bad enough, that I just never went back.

Walking is also not a great option right now.  It seems that whenever I spend too much time on my feet one day, I have to spend the next day parked on the couch sucking a Zofran.  Not so much fun.

I know it’s good for me.  I know I should probably be doing something, but right now it seems like my body just doesn’t let me.

Here’s the thing:  I’ve gotten to the point in my Hypnobabies self-study course where I’m supposed to be practicing things.  They have the same basic exercises as the Bradley course recommends:

  • Pelvic tilts or cat/cow for yoga aficionados (on all fours arching your spine and bringing it back to neutral)
  • Tailor sitting (sitting cross-legged with your feet together, like the old butterfly stretch from gym class)
  • Squatting

And let’s not forget!

  • Kegels

Joy.  I’ve tried to do these a few times, but like the yoga, every time, I’m left feeling nauseated and crummy.

It’s also hard to find the time.  Kegels are easy.  You can do those anywhere.  If you remember.  Which I don’t.  I always forget.  For a while I said, “Every red light I’m going to do my kegels.”  I never remembered.  I’m really trying hard to find a way to remember this as kegels are one of the few exercises that actually don’t make me want to hurl.

The pelvic tilts on the other hand…  Oh, lord, but those are unpleasant.  I like keeping my head above my stomach and my esophagus perpendicular to the ground thankyouverymuch.  But I know these are so important.  They’re just really hard.

The tailor sitting and squatting, I don’t have much of an excuse for not doing.  The tailor sitting actually feels pretty good on my poor aching pelvis and the stretching really seems to help with my aching low back.  I just need to suck it up and make the time to do it.  In fact…

I just actually undocked my laptop and I’m writing the remainder of this from the floor.  This actually feels okay.  The floor is hard and hurting my butt-bones but my low back is getting some relief.  What’s going to be really hilarious, though, is when it comes time to haul my poor old carcass up off the floor.

The squatting isn’t good for computer time because you lack the lap on which to rest the computer.  But it would make for a decent TV time exercise.  It would probably also feel pretty good on my back.  What it boils down to is remembering to do it. 

Now those pelvic tilts on the other hand…  If someone can come up with a way for me to do those that does not involve being on all fours on the ground with my head level to my stomach, I’ll be mighty grateful.  I know they’ll help with the pain in my low back.  I just need to find a way to do them that doesn’t involve nausea.


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Green Disposable Diapers?

I’m feeling a bit crummy today from overdoing it yesterday walking all over UCLA and the La Brea Tar Pits.  So this post may be short.  And not particularly well researched.

I think I’ve mentioned before that we do not cloth diaper.  I’d like to talk a little more about that and share my thoughts with you on reducing our diaper footprint.

Let me start by saying that I love cloth diapers.  The fabrics are not only beautiful, but they’re so incredibly soft.  The thought of that cushy organic bamboo velour cradling my baby’s tiny, delicate rump just makes my heart go pitter pat.  Cloth diapering is very, very doable, even for families where both parents work outside the home.  It just means a little extra laundry.  But here’s the deal:  I don’t do the laundry.  Juan does the laundry in our house (God bless him), and this means that ultimately the decision is his.

You know, we all have our hills that we are willing to die on:  Those aspects of life that are so important that they must be done the way you want.  For me, those hills include breastfeeding, solids, and child sleep.  I will breastfeed my children, I will make their own food and delay solids, and I will not leave them alone to cry it out.

That’s a whole lot of hills.

Juan doesn’t have as many hills.  He’s just a little bit more laid back than I am.  But cloth diapering is where he draws the line.  And quite honestly, as much as I fantasize about those beautiful and soft cloth diapers on my babies’ bottoms, I recognize that I need to be okay with this.  This is something that wouldn’t affect me in a huge way, but would have a terrific impact on the amount of work he has to do.  Considering how much hard work he does around the house anyway (the guy is a housework machine!), I respect his choice.

That leaves me wondering, though, what I can do to help “green up” diaper time for the newest member of our family.  In addition to wanting to be a little more green for diaper time, frankly, I’m mad at Pampers.  There is some controversy surrounding their new Dry Max technology, which I must accurately report has not as of yet been linked by the CPSC to the severe diaper rashes reported by some parents.

Aside from that, last week, Pampers took it upon themselves to email me an ad for formula.  This is not acceptable to me as it violates The International Code for Marketing Breastmilk Substitutes as laid out by the WHO.  Basically, it’s against the WHO code to advertise formula, and this is something I take pretty seriously.  So, sorry Pampers.  With one simple email advert, you lost my business.

Thankfully, environmentally friendly diaper options have started to become more and more available.  There are a couple of hybrid cloth/disposable options like the gDiaper, but having had friends who tried and didn’t like them, I think these might not be the best option for us.  Plus, these would still leave Juan doing diaper laundry.

At this point, I’m looking at three possible choices for us:

Now here’s the thing:  Natural and Eco-friendly is great and all, but these puppies have to perform.

We used the 7th Gen diapers a few times with Gabi when she got a bad diaper rash. They were pretty good, but they were a little stiff.  Juan did not like them.  I’ve never used the other kinds, but with the packaging it’s really impossible to tell much about the diapers.

I’ve emailed each of the three diaper companies to request that they send me a sample diaper.  I just want one of each.  I want to get the feel of it.  I want to see how stiff or how soft they are.  I want to pour some water into them to see how they react and absorb the fluid.  I do not expect any diaper to contain an honest-to-goodness poopsplosion, but I do expect them not to completely disintigrate when pee hits them.

I haven’t heard back from the companies as of yet on my request, so please stay tuned.  I’ll let you know if they’re willing to send me a sample or not.  I’d rather not have to shell out for packs of each.  These puppies aren’t cheap.

In the meantime, have any of you, dear readers used these natural disposable diapering options?  Does anyone out there in cyberspace have anything they can share with me about how these work out?


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Pregnant Women = Community Property

It seems like when a woman becomes pregnant, her body ceases to be her own.  I don’t mean in a physical, sharing space with the baby kind of way.  I mean in the social way.  Society seems to feel that a pregnant woman loses certain rights to her privacy and bodily integrity.  People feel like they can ask certain very personal questions, comment on her body parts, and, worse, they feel like they can reach out and touch a pregnant woman in ways that would never, ever be appropriate for a non-pregnant woman.

As I have started to become very obviously pregnant, this has started happening more and more.  On Tuesday, a co-worker felt it was appropriate to ask me about my eating habits.  He had overheard that I had been eating at a local sushi place pretty frequently, so he felt the need to comment as we were leaving the office for the day, “Um… I heard you talking about sushi this morning.  Aren’t pregnant women, like, not supposed to eat fish or something?”  This forced me to have to defend my food choices and explain that, of course, not all sushi is raw fish, and that cooked fish that is low in mercury is an important part of the diet because of the healthy oils it contains.

Why should I have had to explain myself to this fellow who I only am vaguely acquainted with?  What business of it is his what another person eats?  Would it have been appropriate for me to question the health merits of his lunch choices?  Likely not.  It’s just none of my business.

People will also ask you very personal questions about your medical choices.  I remember when I was pregnant with Gabi, a woman at Juan’s office asked him whether or not I was going to get an episiotomy. Why on earth would anyone feel asking about the bit of flesh between my vagina and my anus would be appropriate small-talk?  That is in incredibly invasive and personal question.  Would it be appropriate for Juan to ask her about her husband’s prostate exam?  Absolutely not.

Please don’t get me started on the comments about the size of my body.  To the next person who looks at me and says, “Aw, look!  You’re HUUUUGE!”  I plan to respond with, “Aww, you’re huge, too!  Wait, was that not an appropriate thing to say?”  You do not, I repeat, do not comment on a stranger’s body size.  Pregnant or not.  It’s incredibly rude.

People also seem to like to touch me these days.  And not just a hand-shake or a pat on the shoulder.  Yesterday, I had two different coworkers, with whom I am not particularly well acquainted, ask me if they could rub my belly.  I said, “Only if I get to rub your belly back.”  And they both gave me an “ew, gross” look and declined.  At least they asked.

Really and truly, I’m okay with discussing my choices and what’s going on with the pregnancy.  I wouldn’t be blogging about it if I didn’t.  I’m also okay with having my belly rubbed as long as you are my friend.  One of my friends is very much a belly-rubber, and I actually like it.  It’s very sweet and she rubs with love. 

What I don’t like is the sense of entitlement that some people seem to feel with regard to information and access to my body.  I think the HG has made me particularly crusty in this regard because of the perpetual questions of, “Are those meds safe for the baby?”  I also reject entirely the notion that personal questions make appropriate small-talk.  If you ask me a question, I will answer you. 

If you ask me about episiotomies, I’m happy to give you a detailed explanation on why I will absolutely not be getting one.  Very detailed.  If you don’t want to really, really know, then don’t ask.  If you ask me about my pregnancy medical issues, I will answer you.  I’m happy to educate people about HG.  But don’t look grossed out when I tell you about my PICC line and my IVs.  If you didn’t want to know, you shouldn’t have asked.  If you feel that you have the right to lecture me about my choice to birth outside of the hospital, well, you need to be prepared to get lectured right back.

Honestly, I’m not combative generally.  A genuine question will receive a gentle and genuine response.  I much prefer to, as they say, catch the flies with honey.  But a question asked as an attempt to point out that I am doing something wrong will be met with a strong response.  Particularly because, in most cases, I don’t just do things “because.”  I’m an obsessive reader and researcher.  There are very specific reasons behind most of my choices which I am happy to share if someone is genuinely curious.

But this leaves me with this question:  Why?  Why is it that when we enter motherhood, and this only starts with pregnancy, that people feel that sense of entitlement to our personal information and the right to touch our bodies?  Why do our bodies cease to be our own?

I’m not sure I am enough of a feminist scholar to understand why this is.  If someone can help me out, I’d really appreciate it.  This is one aspect of motherhood that really, really bothers me.

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