Knocked Up – Knocked Over

my journey through pregnancy and hyperemesis gravidarum

Monthly Archives: May 2011


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Prenatal Massage and why it’s awesome

The baby and I had our first prenatal massage this weekend thanks to a lovely mother’s day gift from Juan.  It was divine.  Really, really nice.

With Gabi, I waited until the very end for a prenatal massage, which, in retrospect was a mistake.  I got so much relief from the massage that I wished I had gone in regularly throughout the pregnancy.

My current massage therapist does not use a special table with a hole in the middle for the belly.  Instead, she uses a large body pillow and has her pregnant clients lay on their sides.  She was very conscious of the temperature of the room, making sure it was never too hot or too cold for me.  She also used pure coconut oil as opposed to a traditional massage oil.  I’ve mentioned before what a fan of coconut oil I am, so I was pleased by this.

According to some very lazy research on the subject (what? It’s a 3 day weekend.  So sue me!) prenatal massage can have some pretty nice benefits: Everything from hormone regulation to improved circulation.  Click here for a full list of benefits courtesy of The American Pregnancy Association.

The things that I noticed the most were the sense of relaxation I felt and the relief I felt in my aching muscles.  My low back, hips, and feet have been so sore lately.  She really dug in and worked those parts out.

This was not one of those all over kind of feel-good massages either.  There were a few points where I had to use some of my hypnobabies techniques to deal with the intensity of it.  If you’ve never had the backs of your knees stripped out, I very much recommend it, but be ready to breathe through it!  Thankfully, the hypnobabies techniques that I’m learning allowed me to stay limp and loose through those parts.  It was certainly painful, but I do love some good deep tissue work.  If it’s not so bad that I can’t stay limp through it, then we’re doing okay.

She found sore spots all around.  I expected to be sore in my hips and sacrum, but I was surprised at how sore my knees, shins, and this one muscle down the middle of my feet were.  She explained that because my bones are loosening up with the pregnancy hormones, the muscles are sore from constantly re-adjusting around them.

She spent some time focusing on opening up the muscles along my flanks and through my ribs.  When I thought about it, that made good sense.  Those muscles are being pulled constantly from the weight of the baby.  No wonder they’re sore and tired!

When she finished, I felt… taller.  I felt like I could move more easily.  I felt like my body was better aligned and functioning more smoothly.  Post-massage, for me, is always a little sore, but it’s a good kind of sore.  I like a massage with some good tissue-work, where she really gets in and digs out those achy knots, and she certainly delivered on that this weekend.  I’m looking forward to my next massage.  I think I’ll try to do one of these every six weeks or so just to keep my body moving and open.

If you’re interested in prenatal massage yourself, you should go for it!  It’s wonderful.  You’ll want to find someone who is knowledgeable about prenatal massage.  There are some pressure points around the ankles than can cause contractions, so your massage therapist should avoid those areas until you’re past your due date.  My prenatal massage really helped me to feel more comfortable.  I very much recommend it, and if you aren’t pregnant right now, well, then you should just go get a massage anyway!


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Exploring Farmer’s Markets

I love, love, love going to the farmer’s markets here in California.  I love wandering around and seeing all of the fresh fruits and veggies.  I love getting to taste samples of things.  I love the delicious tamales they sell there.  I love the people-watching, especially the free hugs guy and the poetry guy.  Most of all, though, I love going with my daughter.

At 3 years old, she’s so full of natural curiosity.  She enjoys the sensory experience of the market just as much as I do.  We hold hands and just wander around.  I let her take the lead.  We look at the strange things like the purple carrots and the fancy mushrooms.  I involve her directly in the shopping in a way that just isn’t possible at the grocery store.  I let her taste the samples and pick which item she wants.  We talk about the colors, the smells, the tastes.  We talk about where the food comes from and why we eat certain things.  There is something magical about experiencing a farmer’s market with a kiddo.  I heartily recommend it.

This morning, Gabi and I went to our local farmer’s market for fun and to see what interesting things we could find for the long weekend.  We each came home with our own treasures.  I chose swiss chard (so I can cook this), fresh white cheddar cheese (pasteurized so I can eat it!), fresh focaccia bread, and a Texas sweet onion.  Is it a Texas 1015 bred by Texas A&M?  WHOOP!  The fellow I bought it from wasn’t sure, but if it’s a Texas bred onion, that sounds good to me!  Gabi got to choose some treasures of her own as well: raisins and a bag of Ranier cherries that we will have to help her to eat in a careful way to avoid choking on pits.

I’ll be honest.  I’m not a serious Farmer’s Market shopper.  For my family, it’s more about the experience than the shopping.  Most of our food comes from the big store up the road, but there are some things I’ve found that I just prefer getting at the market.

I always get my honey there.  I eat local honey to help with my allergies, and at the market I can talk to the apiarist (beekeeper) to find out just what “local” means.  In this case, it means just up the road from my house!  I’ve even been able to find honey specific to my allergies.  Since I’m allergic to flowering weeds, I go for a wildflower honey as opposed to an orange or lemon honey.

I also like to treat my family with good cheese from the market.  It just tastes so much more flavorful when it hasn’t been made in a factory and sitting around a grocery store for a week or two.  It’s more expensive, so we eat it as a treat, and use the regular Tillamook for the sandwiches.  I also like to get Onions there.  The fresher the onion, the milder the flavor.  They just taste better.

Berries are also a good bet from the market.  Strawberries at the grocery store always seem to be just on the verge of getting furry.  The fresh berries from the market keep a little longer so there’s not as much pressure to eat them same day.

At this point in the post, if I lived in another part of the country, I’d probably talk about eating seasonally.  I live in the heart of strawberry country in California.  I’m 2 blocks away from an avocado grove and 3 away from lemons.  Across the street from my office are fields where they grow broccoli, cabbage, celery, lettuce, and whatever else they happen to plant.  Let me tell you, we don’t eat lunch outside the day after the cabbage harvest!  PHEW!  My point is this, though:  Everything is in season all the time where I live.  I don’t know that much about seasonal eating because we just don’t have to out here.

If you aren’t so lucky to live in such a temperate climate, though, Farmer’s Markets can be a great way to eat more seasonal foods.  Eating seasonally means you’re eating closer to home, and eating locally not only supports your local economy, but it reduces your carbon footprint.  It’s amazing what it takes to get a vegetable from the field to your grocery store.  And here’s a hint: Most stuff you get even at Whole Foods had to come a long, long way.  Eating seasonally and locally means they didn’t have to spend the gas to truck it cross-country or worse across a continent.

To me, it’s much more important that a food be local than organic.  I’ll probably devote an entire post to this later, but for me, I would rather buy local grown conventional veggies than organic veggies that have been trucked cross-country or across the state.  Happily, at a farmer’s market, I can get food that is both local and organic.  I can also find out just what a grower means when they use buzz-words like “local,” “organic,” “free-range,” or “cruelty-free.”  These words carry a whole lot of connotation, but often very little specific substance.  ”Local” at the grocery store might mean it came from the field up the road, but more probably, it simply means that it came from the same state or region.  ”Free-range” sounds really good, but unless you know your chicken-farmer, it can mean anything from chickens happily frolicking in fields eating bugs and making love or it can mean the chickens were raised in those big chicken barns crammed in with a thousand other chickens.

At the market, I can ask the grower where their fields are, how they grow their food, and how they manage their animals.  For me, this face-to-face interaction with the growers is priceless.  It brings the food-cycle around full-circle.  More than that, with Gabi next to me, I can help the next generation learn where and how her food grows.

So if you haven’t been or if it’s just been a while, head out to your local farmer’s market.  See what’s there.  Explore the colors, the flavors, and the people.  You won’t regret it!

If you are a regular farmer’s market attendee, what are your favorite things to get there?  What kinds of things do you enjoy exploring?


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My Favorite Things – Kiehl’s Creme de Corps Soy Milk & Honey Whipped Body Butter

I’d like to begin periodically posting a segment on things that I love.  Those little items that I’ve discovered that just make my life easier and that I love to recommend to my friends.  Please understand that while I will probably be making product recommendations here, I’m not receiving any kind of kick back.  Not even any free stuff!  Humph!  These are just things that I happen to really like.

I’ll kick off my Favorite Things series by talking about a product that I discovered this weekend: Kiehl’s Creme de Corps Soy Milk & Honey Whipped Body Butter.

Okay, I’ve been a Kiehl’s fan for a while.  After Gabi was born, I decided that I needed to get back into a good skin care regimen, and after doing a lot of digging around and reading, I decided to give Kiehl’s a try.  It’s not an inexpensive line, but it’s not outrageously expensive either (La Prairie and Chanel, I’m looking at YOU!).  Above all, it seemed like the quality of the product (as opposed to packaging and marketing efforts) was the main focus of the line.  Their focus is specifically on skin care.  They seem to stick to what they’re good at and focus on doing that really well.

The skin care line turned out to be phenomenal.  The customer service?  Excellent.  It helps that I got it at Nordstrom where customer service is a primary focus.  The lady who helped me obviously loved the product line, and having worked previously in cosmetics myself as a Chanel girl, I can tell you that line loyalty says a lot about the product.  It’s easy to just want to go out there and make a sale on whatever line there is, but this woman loved her line and wanted to promote it even over more expensive products from other companies.

At any rate,  she not only sent me home with a full facial-care regimen, she gave me a ton of samples.  Not just fist-fulls of things pulled out of drawers like some folks will do, either.  She tailored her samples to items she thought I might be interested in. 

I’ve been hooked on Kiehl’s ever since.  I’ve tried and loved tons of their products.  I could rave about all of them probably, but the one I tried this weekend just really took the cake.

A year ago, one of the counter girls out here in California handed me a fist full of samples (the old grab and go trick).  She included a sample of the body butter, which normally I would have declined.  I don’t like body butters as a rule.  I’m not sure why.  I just don’t like them.  But she just popped a bunch of stuff in my bag, Gabi and Juan were fussy about being in the cosmetics department, and I just had other places to go.

I finally got desperate this Saturday and gave it a try.  Ever since going through the HG fun with the needle jabs and the dehydration, the backs of my hands have been horribly rough and dry.  They don’t crack and they don’t hurt, but I just can’t seem to get them to feel moisturized.  They just stay in a perpetual state of rough flakiness.

I’ve tried Cetaphil.  Nope.  I’ve tried Avalon Organics lotion.  Nope.  I’ve tried pure shea butter (from L’Occitane).  Not even close.  I’ve tried straight coconut oil.  Helped for a bit, but then the flakiness came right back.

Then, on a whim, I pulled out the little packet of Kiehl’s body butter.

I expected to hate it.  I expected the smell to give me a headache.  I expected it not to work.  I expected my hands to feel greasy.  I expected to have to re-apply it over and over and over and over.

Boy was I wrong!

It soaked into my skin immediately and it definitely did not hang around on the palms of my hands, which would have made me nuts.  And it really did moisturize my hands.  Immediately, the rough skin and the flakes disappeared.  Completely and instantly.  I could not believe it.

The scent was… pleasant.  Really pleasant.  And believe me, I hate scents.  Even when I’m not pregnant, I don’t like smelling like things.  Even good things, but this…  It didn’t smell frangranced.   It smelled like the scent came from the materials used to make it.  Now, when I flipped over the packet, I saw that there is “fragrance” listed in the ingredients.  So it does contain an added fragrance of some kind.  I can tell you this, though, the scent doesn’t cling or linger.  I appreciate that because part of the reason why I almost never use hand lotion is because the smell lingers and invariably gives me a headache.  Not with this one.  The scent is there for a bit and then it just sort of goes away. 

I also loved that my hands felt moisturized the entire day.  I am way to lazy to re-apply moisturizer, and with this one, I didn’t have to.  I put a little on in the morning and then a little on before bed and the feeling of being moisturized stuck around all day long.  That says something because with this pregnancy, I’m having to pee a lot and help a kiddo go potty which adds up to a lot of hand-washing.  That it was able to keep my hands moisturized through that without leaving me feeling greasy  really impressed me.

So, gosh darnit, I went out and got my own tub of the stuff.  Yes, I had to go to Nordstrom to get it, which means having to walk past their way too tempting shoe department, but you know what?  It’s a treat.  I’ve been through a lot, and sometimes you just have to treat yourself.

I only have a few caveats with this product.  It does contain soy (says so right in the name), so if you are sensitive to soy, you should probably steer clear.  It also does have a scent which sometimes causes people to have allergy issues, although, for me it doesn’t appear to trigger an allergic response.  And I am allergic to just about any fragrance.

The tub itself was $35.  Pricey?  Yeah.  But a little goes a long way, and that it was able to take care of the dry hands I’ve been fighting for months in less than five minutes makes it worth it to me.  The little sample packet lasted me four days.  How long is that big 8 oz jar going to last?  A very long time!

So if you find yourself in need of a special gift for someone (or yourself!), consider the Creme de Corps Soy Milk & Honey Whipped Body Butter from Kiehl’s.  It’s luxurious and lovely stuff.

Pros:

  • non-greasy moisture
  • immediate relief of chronic dry skin
  • moisture seems to stick around through multiple hand-washings
  • pleasant, light, natural smell that dissipates quickly
  • a little goes a long way

Cons:

  • $35 per jar
  • scent might bother some people with sensitivities
  • contains soy

Where to find:

  • Most Nordstrom, Saks 5th Avenue, and Nieman Marcus stores sell Kiehl’s, which is surprising because it is often less expensive than other cosmetics lines carried by those stores.
  • Kiehl’s has their own stores in some cities (store locator)
  • The Kiehl’s website - be sure to check out the sometimes hilarious pronunciation guide in the key ingredients tab for the products.

Reminder – I’m not being paid or compensated in any way to endorse this product.  They don’t even know I’m writing this, because I’m not that important.  I just really like it!


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Finding a Doula

We have reached the point in this pregnancy where it is time to start looking for a doula.  A doula is a person (usually a woman) who is present throughout the birth to provide emotional and physical support to the mother during her birthing time and post-partum.

We didn’t have a doula last time with Gabi.  We took Bradley Birth classes last time, and our teacher at the time discouraged us from hiring a doula.  In Bradley, there is much emphasis placed on the husband/father as coach, so I think this is why she advised against doulas.  In retrospect, I see that this was not the best advice for us.

This time I am doing Hypnobabies, so I fully expect the dynamic to be completely different.  In fact, this is my intent.  My experience with Gabi was good.  But I want something different for this birth.  I’ve learned some lessons, and I prefer to take that knowledge and move forward.

One of the things I learned is that, yeah, I really do need someone else there to help out.  This is not a knock on Juan.  He absolutely did a great job last time, especially considering that he was thrown into an unfamiliar situation that was loaded with stress and pressure from all sides.  I look forward to childbirth.  Juan dreads it.

At first when I started talking to Juan about hiring a doula, he was worried.  He thought that the doula would replace him and take over his role.  This should not be the case at all.  A lot of the experiences of the birth felt strange and uncomfortable to him, and having someone there to navigate that processs with him, I hope, will give him more comfort with the entire process. 

In poking around, trying to find some resources for Juan, I stumbled across this article from Doula.com:  Dads and Doulas: Working Together. 

A doula is there to help the father, as much as she helps the mother. The fact of the matter is, our society places a great deal of pressure and responsibility on the father-to-be during labor. A childbirth class isn’t enough to prepare a new, nervous dad to support his wife through what may be one of the most difficult and challenging moments in her life. Is it fair to expect the father to remain 100% focused and calm, when his wife is struggling?

Emphasis mine.  I appreciate the perspective here.  This article really helps us understand how the doula will fit in to our own situation.

I asked my midwives (gosh I love saying that!) for some recommendations on some doulas they work with, and they gave me a few business cards.  I’ve been able to reach two of them, and Juan and I have meetings set up for this week.  Tomorrow, we’ll be having lunch with Doula 1, and then next Tuesday Doula 2 is coming to our house to meet us. 

Doula 2 said that she prefers for her clients to meet with her in their homes so that they can see how she interacts with them in their own comfort zone and especially how she interacts wtih other children.  I like this notion.  My sister-in-law will be with us and will help care for Gabi, but I love that Doula 2 considered Gabi and her feelings as well as Juan and my feelings.  This impresses me.

I spent this weekend trying to figure out what kinds of questions to ask these doulas during the interview.  DONA International, one of the organizations that certifies and trains doulas, has an article with some questions to ask in their How to Hire a Doula section, but there were some more specific questions Juan and I had as well.

Here is the list of questions we came up with for us to ask the doulas (some of these come straight from the DONA page):

  • What training have you had? (If a doula is certified, you might consider checking with the organization.)
  • Do you have one or more backup doulas for times when you are not available? May we meet her/them?
  • What is your fee, what does it include and what are your refund policies?
  • Tell me about your experience as a birth doula.
  • What is your philosophy about birth and supporting women and their partners through labor?
  • What is your familiarity and comfort level with Hypnobabies?  Will you be willing to do some reading and study to prepare for providing support for me during hypnosis?
  • Will you assist in writing a birth plan?
  • Can you give some examples of some of the ways you provide comfort during the birthing time? Massage? Aromatherapy? Do you proactively suggest position changes and movements?
  • In what ways will you help Juan during the labor?
  • How will you fit in to the birth team since we are birthing with midwives at a birth center as opposed to a hospital?  Are you familiar with waterbirth?
  • At what point during my birthing time will you come?  Will you come to the house?  The birth center?
  • Do you take pictures?  Keep track of details to help me write out the birth story later?
  • What kind of support do you provide after the birth?

I’m sure there are plenty of more questions that will come up during our meetings with the doulas.  I am excited to see where the conversation will take us.

I feel like this really puts us one step closer to bringing this baby into the world, and it’s so exciting!


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Cloth Diapering – Part 1

I have mentioned before that my family doesn’t cloth diaper, but I do love the idea of cloth diapering.  It’s a great way to reduce your impact on the environment.  Because of this, I asked several of my friends to write guest posts about cloth diapering for my Green Sunday segment.  This first post in a multi-post series is by a dear, childhood friend of mine, Katie.

Before our little one was born, I decided to try cloth diapers because I believed that they would be a better use of both environmental and financial resources.   I just couldn’t justify all of those used disposable diapers piling up somewhere.  This feeling was potently strengthened after our little one arrived and we went through 1100 diapers in the first two months!   Despite the added energy and water consumption required to wash cloth diapers, they are still radically better for the environment and perhaps the most earth-conscious decision parents can make.

Once I began researching cloth diapers, I found myself overwhelmed by the sheer number of options and opinions.  There are many styles of diapers (and numerous manufacturers, each with subtle differences), laundry routines and trouble-shooting solutions.  And, like most things, the internet provides a wealth of conflicting information.  After a lot of research, I had really learned very little because like most baby gear, each individual has different preferences.  For example, some people prefer all-natural or organic fabrics, while others prefer the moisture-wicking and cost benefits of synthetic fabrics.  Most people now prefer the fastening options that do not require diaper pins.  There are also numerous opportunities to match various manufacturers’ styles to your little one’s body type, such as more generous leg openings or a longer rise.  The sheer number of options can be frustrating, but it also means that you have a lot of alternatives to try if you are dissatisfied.

There seems to be a growing recognition of how overwhelming the cloth diaper product line-up can be.  One prominent cloth diaper vendor, Jillian’s Drawers, offers a cloth diaper trial for a mere $10 (provided you return the items promptly if you choose to not pursue cloth diapering), as well as a variety of sample packages.

Of course, trying out a lot of cloth diapering products can eventually translate to a significant investment, especially if you prefer cloth diapers with more features and/or organic fabrics.  This has been a disappointment to me as I naively imagined that cloth diapering would represent substantial cost-savings.  I still believe that we will save a lot of money in the long run, but at only seven months into cloth diapers, the cost benefits have probably been fairly minimal.  A large part of that is that our little one has grown at an incredible rate and is very tall.  As a result, many of the cloth diapers and covers that we tried had to be “retired” early, typically due to the rise being too short for our little one.  For example, we tried and loved Thirsties Duo-Wrap Snap Size 1 which is advertised to last until about 9 months or 18 pounds, but our little one outgrew it around 4-5 months and 15-16 pounds.  As our little one’s growth slows down, I expect that each size of cloth diapers will last longer and thus be more cost-effective.   Of course, our real savings will come when we can reuse all of these diapers with our anticipated second child.

I want to emphasize though that it IS completely possible to save A LOT of money with cloth diapering.  The bare minimum supplies would only be about $200, plus laundry detergent & utilities.  I also made simple cloth wipes out of 2-ply 8-inch squares of cheap flannel which have been a significant savings.  And rather than using any kind of wipes solution or expensive cloth-approved diaper rash cream, I prefer nearly-free plain water for the former and completely-free indirect sun exposure for the latter.  Line-drying your diapers can also drastically reduce your cloth-diaper-dependent energy bill.  If you are fortunate to be able to dry them outside, sunlight also has amazing diaper-brightening properties!  In addition, depending on your sewing ability and/or your willingness to learn, you can make your own cloth diapers.

An unexpected benefit of choosing to use cloth diapers has been the fabulous customer service I have received from cloth diaper vendors.   My favorite detergent company (Rockin’ Green) offers free and prompt trouble-shooting assistance.  When I asked their advice on how to fine-tune my laundry routine when I was battling diaper rash, they sent me a free sample of the new formula they were developing.   They then offered to make me custom detergent until the new formula would be commercially available several months later.

When I inquired about the availability of one particular diaper style, a favorite diaper manufacturer (ESBaby) offered to send me a free prototype of a new pattern she was developing for that style, provided I gave her feedback on the redesign.   ESBaby will also further customize their patterns by adding or trimming inches in the rise or crotch width, and covering the diapers with customer selected prints (or even customer-provided fabrics).  As an added bonus, many of these vendors are either work-at-home moms or moms transitioning into full-time careers.  It is a huge frustration to me that there seems to be serious professional stigma attached to women who want to return to the workforce after choosing to stay home with their young kids so I love supporting these mom-driven businesses.

Finally, anyone who chooses cloth diapers seems more than willing to help others get started or trouble-shoot.   I have personally benefitted from some great advice and instruction in this way, including an incredibly helpful and clarifying email from the other cloth diaper guest blogger, arranged via an email introduction from PallasAthena here at Knocked Up – Knocked Over.

There are some mild disadvantages to cloth diapers.  The biggest issue for us has been battling diaper rash.  Most people advertise that cloth-diapered babies rarely have diaper rash because they are changed more often.  We changed our little one 16-20 times a day for the first two months and still struggled with diaper rash.  In fairness, we seem to have a family predisposition towards diaper rash.  We pretty much have this condition under control now due to the reduced frequency of output by our little one and routine preventative air and indirect-sun exposure.

Obviously, cloth diapers require you to spend more time with your diapers.  Dealing with soiled cloth diapers seems no worse to me than dealing with soiled disposable diapers (Disclaimer:  our little one is still in the very early phases of solid food, so perhaps this issue might become more unpleasant in the future).  It does take some time, every day so far, to wash and fold cloth diapers, although far less time and effort than I expected.  I am fortunate to be able to stay home with my little one and his diapers which makes this process even easier.   I believe that it would be possible to use cloth diapers while working outside of the home, but it would require more flexibility and commitment and would be undeniably harder to manage.  But even partial use of cloth diapers would make a huge impact on the environment!

Another minor inconvenience has been finding roomy enough clothes to accommodate the added bulk of cloth diapers.  Our little one is fairly slim too, so I imagine this must be really difficult if you have a more Rubenesque baby.  In particular, pajamas are a problem.  Federal law mandates that children’s sleepwear either be made out of a non-flammable material or have a slim-fit so as to minimize the danger of the clothes igniting in a fire.  As a result, the overwhelming majority of children’s sleepwear is not cloth diaper-friendly.  Skirts are pretty forgiving for little girls, while stretchy knits work best for other bottoms.  There are some brands that I’ve tried that have a more generous fit, like Zutano, Hanna Andersson and Wal-mart’s Garanimals.  Except for the latter, these brands are pretty pricey though which was another small disappointment to me.

We have used disposables while traveling and both my husband and I strongly prefer cloth diapers.  With cloth diapers, it is much easier to customize the fit and style to our little one.  In fact, perhaps “CD” should stand for “Customized Diapers” rather than “Cloth Diapers!”  Additionally, the materials are much softer and more comfortable (we imagine).  We have also experienced significantly fewer blow-outs and leaks with cloth diapers.  Finally, they seem more breathable and trap less overall moisture.

To briefly summarize, I’ve listed below the pros and cons of cloth diapers from my experience.

Cloth Diaper Pros:

  • Environmentally-friendly!
  • Customizable fit, materials & absorbency (cute prints can be an added bonus)
  • Can be much cheaper
  • Softer against the baby’s skin
  • Better containment of bodily waste & odor
  • Fabulous customer service & support while often supporting mom-driven businesses

Cloth Diaper Cons:

  • Time & energy to wash diapers
  • Diaper rash (this might be fairly unique to our situation)
  • Can have significant upfront costs, especially if choosing to use premium diapers
  • Requires roomier clothes that may be more difficult to find


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The Midwives’ Back-up OB

Part of switching from a traditional OB practice to the midwifery practice involves meeting with their back-up OB.  This is to ensure that should hospital transfer become necessary, I am familiar with him.  It also gives him a chance to review my medical records to ensure there aren’t any red flags that the midwives might have overlooked.  He also told me he wants to make sure I’m not a “lunatic.” 

The man has a sense of humor!  Seriously, he does.  He has pictures tacked to the ceiling over his exam table of very, very handsome male models saying things like, “Oh, Honey.  I just finished the laundry. Tell me all about the baby’s day!”  And, “You look tired.  Let me give you a back rub.”

I like this fellow.  He doesn’t seem to take himself too seriously, which I appreciate.

The appointment was pretty straightforward: pee in a cup, weigh, blood-pressure, and meet with the doctor to discuss any concerns.  When I mentioned that I was concerned about the HG resurfacing in the 3rd trimester, he said that it certainly does happen, and he’s perfectly happy to prescribe me the meds I might need.  He prefers to start with the Unisom/B6 combo and then move on to Zofran, Reglan, and Phenargan.  He made big notes that the Reglan and the Phenargan were not options for me and asked me what meds I took when I was HGing.  Then he shook my hand and said he’d see me back next time I decide to have a baby.  Very straightforward and simple.

What I did not expect, though, was the panic that followed on the drive home.  As I was driving, I found myself thinking of the things I had gone through with the HG.  Maybe it was because he was still wearing his green hospital scrubs.  I don’t know.  Something about the visit, though, dredged up some pretty awful emotions.  I didn’t expect to be fighting off the horror of the HG while driving up the 101.  Through a construction zone.  Wiping away tears so I could see to drive.  Yeah.  Not fun.

I just kept thinking, “I told him about the med list, but I forgot to tell him about the IVs and the PICC.  Why didn’t I tell him about that?”  And then, of course, I got to thinking about the IVs.  And the PICC.  And remembering lying there in the bed while the were trying to get the second PICC in and shaking and trying to keep it together so they could get the damn line in and hearing the charge nurse tell the PICC nurse quietly,  “Stop a minute and look at this patient.  She’s shaking.  She’s crying.  It’s time to stop.  She’s been through enough.”  And well, things just went downhill from there.

I talked to Dr. Awesome about this previously.  This isn’t the first time I’ve had to swallow back a panic attack, and I’m pretty sure it won’t be the last.  She thinks that the Hynobabies will really help in dealing with the trauma of what I went through.  I sure hope so.  It’s not very much fun.

It’s just another part of the joy that is HG.

At this point, though, meeting with the backup OB was the final step in transitioning over to the midwifery practice.  It’s official!  I’m part of their practice!  Very, very positive.  Now that we’re past the HG, we get to do the fun part!


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Article on Antenatal Depression

I know I’m not “supposed” to be posting today, but this article tied in so nicely with  yesterday’s post on baby bonding.  Many thanks to my friend Zorro who posted this on facebook yesterday.

Molly Shalz: On How It Feels To Be Depressed During Pregnancy

I know I’m not the only HGer or the only pregnant lady who has felt depressed during pregnancy.  Knowing there is a proper name to what I thought of as “pre-partum” depression was like finding out that I didn’t have morning sickness.

When I think about Ms. Shalz’s comments in the context of HG, I can relate to it so much.

I am not just pregnant. I am pregnant and depressed.

True depression. Sadness. Hopelessness. The things no mother-to-be should feel. That was me. I was so ashamed.  I kept thinking to myself, Do you know how many women would do anything to be pregnant like you are? Snap out of it!

and

A funny thing happened on the way to wellness and stability. I finally fell in love with the little baby boy inside of me. It’s not that I didn’t love him all along. It just took me awhile to accurately feel those feelings because they were weighed down by depression.

Please do read this article.  It’s beautifully written and speaks to an issue that deserves just as much awareness as post partum depression.

Note:  Depression does not cause HG.  But HG can often cause depression.  If you are HGing and you are feeling the dark thoughts creeping up on you, please do contact your doctor and work something into your protocol.  HG is hard enough to handle without depression piling on top of it.

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HG and Bonding with Baby

HG is difficult.  It makes everything so much more difficult not only physically but emotionally as well.  For me, from a psychological standpoint, the HG begins to take on a life of its own.  In my mind, the HG becomes almost its own entity.  It becomes anthropomorphized to the point that I think of it as a separate being.  I think I do this as a defense.  Anthropomorphizing it gives me something to fight.  I imagine it as a beast that stalks and hunts me.  When I talk about dealing with my HG, I find myself using imagery more associated with fighting.  It’s strange because I generally think of myself as a reasonably peaceful person.  The HG, though, has become an enemy to be fought and killed.

I’m reasonably certain that I’m not alone in thinking of it this way.

I think, in a lot of ways, the personality that the illness takes on makes it more difficult to feel bonded with the baby.

When I was pregnant with Gabi, I never felt really bonded to her.  I would hear other pregnant women talk about how in love they were with their babies, but I felt… sick.  I thought I was broken.  I thought there was something wrong with me.  I mean, here I was, physically bonded to this tiny creature that Juan and I had made.  Shouldn’t I feel some sort of deep, spiritual connection?  I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to love her once she was born.  When I was very, very sick, I felt angry at her.  How fair is that?  What kind of mother resents her unborn child?

I spent the entire pregnancy feeling like I was going through the motions of getting ready.  Sure, baby shopping was fun, but I never felt what I imagined other women felt.  I buried myself in reading, organizing, and other things so that I wouldn’t have to think too much about the actual baby.  To be honest, I never nested.  I joked with my mom that she nested for me in those last few weeks.

I was immensely relieved to find that once Gabi was out and I wasn’t sick anymore, I fell for her.  Holding her that first time was like a spark.  My love for her burns like a fire, and sometimes, when I remember how sick I was and think about just how precious she is, it feels like that fire might burn me up.  Somehow, the numbness and sickness I felt when I was pregnant with her makes her that much more dear to me.

I was afraid of the transition to motherhood.  I expected to deal with post partum depression.  I expected to lament the freedom lost.  I expected to resent her after she was born for keeping me up at night.

None of that happened.  Somehow, that spark that she gave me helped make motherhood easy for me.  For some reason, it was natural.  I don’t know why or how, but she made me a better person.

It’s funny how that works out sometimes.

This time is different.  When I was sick with this one, I felt anger.  I felt resentment.  But I wasn’t angry at her.  I was angry at the HG Beast.  I didn’t feel bonded to her when I was sick, but I didn’t imagine she was chewing up my insides either.  Still, I worried that I wouldn’t be able to love her like I love Gabi.

Once the sickness lifted, something happened inside of me.  The spark is there.  I can feel the embers glowing.  I know that once she’s born, the fire for her will catch just like it did for her older sister.  We’re going to be okay.

If you have HG now and you’re worried about bonding with your baby, I hope this reassures you somewhat.  You may never feel that spark when you’re pregnant.  You may not have that magical moment in the hospital that you see in the movies.  Being so sick for so long makes it so hard to feel anything else.  If you end up having some post partum depression, it may take a little bit longer.  But it will come.  Not feeling it right away doesn’t make you less of a mother.  You’ll find the spark.

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Homemade Household Cleaners

Welcome to this week’s Green Sunday post!  Today I’m talking about green household cleaners.

This weekend we had a group of people over from the office for a barbecue.  18 adults and 7 kids.  Oh, lord.  That is a lot of prep-work.

We do have a wonderful lady who comes to clean our house every other week, but this was the off-week, so I wanted to do a bit of sprucing up, and, of course, since I’ve been doing some reading on the subject, I thought it might be fun to try out some of those natural household cleaners.

The recipes I’ll give here are based off the recipes from Sustainable Baby Steps, but I added a few twists of my own.

All-Purpose Cleaning Spray

The first household cleaner I made was an All Purpose Cleaning Spray.  An all-purpose spray is something we use on a daily basis to clean counters, stove-tops, booster seats, and our poor old kitchen table.  Here’s what you’ll need to make my spray:

  • Empty 32 oz spray bottle
  • White Vinegar
  • Dr. Bronner’s magic liquid soap (I’m fond of peppermint)
  • Tea tree essential oil (to kill germs)
  • Water

You’ll want a 9:1 ratio of water to vinegar.  My spray bottle has measures on the side, so I just measured a little less than 4 oz of vinegar into the bottle.  Then I added a small squirt of the Dr. Bronner’s soap and a few drops of tea tree oil to help kill kitchen germs.  I filled the rest of the bottle up with warm water (warm to help it mix a bit), gave it a shake, and… Voila!  All-Natural All-Purpose Cleaning Spray!

So what’s the verdict on this stuff?  It does seem to behave a little differently than store-bought sprays.  It seems wetter somehow, which isn’t a bad thing, really.  For stubborn sticky spots I can squirt out a little puddle of it to let it soak into the crud and help it to come off easier.  This saves me from having to scrub quite as much.  I really do think the store-bought sprays must have some kind of alcohol in them to make them evaporate so quickly.  I have noticed that the additional wetness means I’m using more paper towels than usual, something I try to avoid.  I think to counteract this, I will go pick up a few sponges from Trader Joe’s.  They have some for ultra-cheap that expand when you stick them in water.  I think those would work great with this cleaner, and I know they can be disinfected easily by zapping them in the microwave.

I am really liking this new spray.  It works great.  It gets the surfaces clean.  The faint whiff of vinegar dissipates quickly seemingly taking other stinky smells with it.  And very importantly, I don’t feel uncomfortable using this on eating or food-prep surfaces.

Mop Water

In addition to the other cleaning, I decided to mop the floors in our kitchen yesterday.  It had been a while, and they just needed to be done.  Instead of breaking out the store-bought, ammonia-based floor soap, I made my own.  This could not be simpler.

Mix together:

  • 2 gallons of hot (VERY HOT!) water
  • 1 Cup of white vinegar
  • 1 squirt of Dr. Bronner’s magic liquid soap
  • A few drops of Tea tree essential oil

That’s it.  Then you just mop with it!  It could not be easier.

What was the verdict on this one?  I loved it.  It did the job easily and did not leave a film across my Pergo (laminate) floors.  It There were some hard water stains around the dog’s bowl from repeated water splashings which I always struggle to scrub off, but the vinegar took care of these immediately and with zero effort on my part.  While the mop water did have a strong smell of vinegar, it did not have the same room-clearing odor of ammonia.  The vinegar smell dissipated on its own as the floor dried.  This was a relief.  The fog off the sea was thick yesterday morning, and opening a window would have made the house too cold for us to feel comfortable.  And an open window is a requirement when working with strong ammonia.  The vinegar also seemed to whisk away the doggie smell that seems to linger around our dog’s sleeping area.

Like the All Purpose Spray, the mop water seemed a little wetter somehow than when I mix it with a store-bought product.  We had to stay off it a bit longer while we waited for it to dry.  I took a few minutes to sit down and put my feet up.  No biggie at all.

I loved this!  Next time I mop the floors, I will definitely use this mop water recipe again.

Cleaning the Grill

Cleaning the inside of the grill is Juan’s business.  He has his grates seasoned the way he wants, and I am not going to mess with that.  He is the Grill Master, and I respect that.  The outside of the grill was a whole other story.  It was covered with pollen, dust, and the occasional dripping.  It was just a little embarrassing for folks to see it so dusty outside, so we decided to wash the outside.  This really isn’t so much of a recipe.  More of a description of a technique.

The issue is, whatever we used to clean the grill would run off into the yard.  Aside from us not wanting to kill our grass and plants, our yard runoff heads into the city storm drains which empty to the sea less than 3 miles away from our house.  Juan surfs.  The sea is something he is intimately tied to.  When people use chemicals in their lawns and pour junk in the storm drains, surfers get sick.  This is an immediate and very visible thing for us.

Bring on the Dr. Bronners!  It’s a pure vegetable soap.  No harmful chemicals or residue.

Cleaning the grill was easy.  All I did was wet it down with the hose, give a few hearty squirts of the Dr. Bronners, and scrub it with a stiff brush.  Rinse and done!

How did it work out?  It worked great.  The Dr. Bronners is strong stuff if you use it undiluted and it sliced right through the dirt and grease.  Unlike a store-bought cleaner (I’m looking at you Windex!), it did not damage the paint or the finish of the grill.  This was a win!

Where to get the supplies

I happened to have almost all of this stuff on hand already, but if you don’t and you aren’t sure where to get the things I used, here are some tips:

  • Empty spray bottles – I chose not to reuse empty spray bottles from store-bought cleaners simply because I was concerned about chemical residue.  For new spray bottles check the cleaning aisle of Home Depot, Lowe’s, or any other big home improvement store.  I got mine at Lowe’s for less than $2.
  • Dr. Bronner’s Magic Soap – Okay, I love this stuff.  Every household should keep a bottle of this on hand.  I’ve found it for the best price at Trader Joe’s.  You can also get it at your local natural food store or online.  It comes in a big 32 oz bottle that lasts for ages.  It’s very strong stuff.  While some people use it un-diluted for handsoap or body wash, I can’t.  I reserve it for household tasks.  My skin is just too sensitive.  This is pure, vegetable-based soap.  There are a lot of scents to choose from, and each fragrance comes from pure essential oils so you don’t have to worry about any petroleum-based fragrances that can irritate the allergies.  The bottle itself makes for some great bathroom reading.  The Good Doctor had some pretty far-out ideas, and they’re all inscribed upon the bottle.  If you can find it by the gallon, get it that way.  It’s got about a million different uses from household cleaning to birth control (I’ll take your word for that one Doctor!) to shampoo.
  • Vinegar – Just go to the grocery and get the big jug.  It’s cheaper that way.  As far as I know, white vinegar is white vinegar.  I keep a jug upstairs in the laundry room and a jug downstairs in the garage.  I also keep a smaller jug in the pantry for cooking purposes.  You can’t have too much white vinegar.
  • Tea Tree oil – Tea Tree oil is a natural antibacterial, anti-fungal, anti-viral, and antiseptic agent that has about as many uses as Dr. Bronner’s soap.  My bottle of tea tree oil came from Walgreens.  I needed to grab some quickly to dab on a pimple and I didn’t have time to make a second stop at the local natural food store.  Once it runs out (in a decade or so), I plan to pick up another bottle at my local natural food store.  It will probably be more expensive, but I just prefer to do business with a locally owned company, and I feel more comfortable about where they source their products.  In the meantime: Waste not, want not.  I’ll use up what I already have.  Do go ahead and get the actual essential oil and not a scented oil.  The essential oil is more expensive, but it’s pure and since you’ll be using it as a component, the strength and purity is what you need.
I hope I’ve given you some ideas of easy ways of incorporating some natural and non-toxic cleaning into your daily lives.  If you try any of these ideas out, please let me know how it goes!
And remember, don’t forget to vote!  We’re in the home stretch!  Three more days and the polls close!


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Why was my HG so short? – Update

I wanted to provide a quick update on this subject and share some information from Dr. Awesome on the subject of why my HG seemed so short compared to what so many others experience.

Ultimately, it boils down to mean, hard statistics.  The subset of HGers that find their way into the HG community are often ones for whom the HG does not ease in any sort of “normal” time frame.  I put scare quotes around the word normal because there really and truly is a wide variation.  Most of the people who seek solace in the community are ones who need longer term emotional and physical support.  It’s a skewed sample.

You don’t hear as much from HGers like me because many of them aren’t as driven to write about it once it passes.  They simply fall off the radar once they stop feeling ill.  She reminded me that the studies do show that early, aggressive treatment does impact the length and severity of HG.  I happened to fall on the friendly side of the statistics.

She also mentioned that the reason we generally reject the notion that the HG will clear up at 12 weeks is because it’s being told to women at the same time that they’re being told to “suck it up” and that it’s “just part of being pregnant.”  In cases like that, the inadequate treatment almost guarantees that the HG will not clear up.  Aside from that, you really don’t know when it will stop.  False hope can be a devastating thing.

I asked her if what I had was really and truly HG, and she very emphatically assured me that it was.  This really helped me emotionally because there’s a huge part of me that worried that I was just being exaggerated about the whole thing.  My mind is already starting to erase the memories of the experiences I had.  Knowing that what I experienced was real makes a huge difference for me.

Good News of the Day:  The ultrasound results came back just fine.  Little Muggle-Wump is doing great in there!  And she’s definitely a girl.

Sad News of the Day: Today was my last appointment with Dr. Awesome.  I’m being released totally into the care of the midwives.  I am so grateful for how understanding and supportive she is about the whole thing.  While I didn’t like her front desk people and one of her partners, I really and truly can’t say enough wonderful things about the care I received from her.  She is amazing.

Please remember to keep voting for my blog!

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